Drivers Jokes / Recent Jokes
Very Short Lists:
1) List of Golf Courses that do not allow Doctors
2) List of all night Gay women's bars in Iran
3) List of DR's who do gratis Brain Surgery
4) List of Hospitals with Drive-Thru window Service
5) List of Home cures for Ebola Virus
6) List of Homeless Boston Debutantes
7) List of Catholic Abortion referral services
8) List of Women Rabbi's and assistant's
9) List of Women Popes, Cardinals & Bishops
10) List of Men's Rape assistant groups
11) List of Battered Men's Help Groups
12) List of Cuban registered voters
13) List of Libyan registered women voters
14) List of Libyan Licensed women truck drivers
15) List of Libyan women lawyers
16) List of Libyan women with PHD's
17) List of Libyan Women Service Clubs
18) List of interstate Highways with no Numbers
19) List of U.S. Cops who have never eaten a doughnut
20) List of People who have survived going over Niagara Falls
21) List of People more...
Why are women such bad drivers?
Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.
My name is Bob. Driving to my office this morning on New Mexico Interstate 40 near Central & Tramway. I looked over my shoulder to the left and there was a woman in a brand new Corvette, with her face up next to the rearview mirror putting on her eye makeup.
I looked away for a few seconds, and when I looked back, there she was halfway over in my lane, still working on her eye liner!!
It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the Krispy Kreme out of my other hand. In all the confusion, of trying to straighten out the car with my knees against the steering wheel, it
knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into my Starbucks coffee between my legs, splashed and burned BIG BOB and the TWINS, ruined the phone and disconnected an important call.DAMN WOMEN DRIVERS!
A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day he called the sheriff's office and said, You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."
"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.
"I don't care, just do something about those drivers."
So the next day he had the county go out and put up a sign that said:
SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING.
Three days later the farmer called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The' school crossing' sign seems to make them go faster." So, again, the sheriff sends out the county and they put up a new sign:
SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY.
And that really sped them up. So the farmer called and more...
Are the google ads annoying you?
If they are, here's a way to remove them:
1. Open "my computer", locate the windows directory (for example, C:windows).
2. Enter its subdirectory system32driversetc (the full path might be C:windowssystem32driversetc). You can find a file named "host".
3. Use the notepad to open this file, and add this line:
127.0.0.1 pagead2.googlesyndication.com
4. Save it, and shut down all your existing IE windows.
5. Open your IE again, and enter Wocka. You won't see the google ads anymore(although the google search will be still there.)
6. Enjoy it!
At age 4....success is....not peeing in your pants.
At age 12...success is....having friends.
At age 16...success is....having a drivers license.
At age 20...success is....having sex.
At age 35...success is....having money.
At age 50...success is....having money.
At age 60...success is....having sex.
At age 70...success is....having a drivers license.
At age 75...success is....having friends.
At age 80...success is....not peeing in your pants.
Why are women such bad drivers? Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.