Druggist Jokes / Recent Jokes
After rushing into a drugstore, the nervous young man was obviously embarrassed when a prim, middle-aged woman asked if she could serve him.
"N-no," he stammered, "I'd rather see the druggist."
"I'm the druggist," she responded cheerfully. "What can I do for you?"
"Oh. . . well, uh, it's nothing important," he said, and turned to leave.
"Young man," said the woman, "my sister and I have been running this drugstore for nearly thirty years. There is nothing you can tell us that will embarrass us."
"Well, all right," he said. "I have this awful sexual hunger that nothing will appease. No matter how many times I make love, I still want to make love again. Is there anything you can give me for it?"
"Just a moment," said the little lady, "I'll have to discuss this with my sister."
A few minutes later she returned. "The best we can offer," more...
One Saturday, Little Johnny's bored, so he says to his father, "Dad, I'm bored. What's there to do?"
His dad decides to have a little fun with him, so he gives Johnny four quarters. "Here, son," his father says, "why don't you go to the drugstore and get me some 'what's what'?"
Excited, although somewhat baffled, Johnny rushes down the street to the drugstore. He approaches the druggist and asks him for some 'what's what'. Initially, the druggist is confused, but soon guesses that this kid has been sent out on a wild goose chase.
"I'm sorry, young man, we don't have any, but that building over there might," the druggist says, as he points towards a whorehouse.
Filled with excitement, Johnny races over to the whorehouse. He knocks on the door and a naked woman answers it.
"I need some... hey, what's that?" Johnny says, motioning to her crotch.
"What's what?" she replies.
Satisfied, Johnny says, more...
A very proper man started going into the neighborhood drug store every week and buying 2 dozen boxes of condoms. Week after week he would come in with the same order. One day the druggist felt he had to say something to the man.
"Wow! You must have the stamina of a bull. Talk about getting lucky! How on earth do you use that many condoms a week?"
The man looked at him in disgust and said, "I beg your pardon, but I find the whole idea of sex repulsive!"
So, the druggist asked, "Then what do you do with all those condoms?"
The gentleman answered, "I feed them to my poodle and now she poops in little plastic bags."
A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university.
They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; hired a few additional sociologists, an anthropologist, and a family planning and birth control specialist; moved to town; rented offices; set up their computers; got squared away; and began designing their questionnaires and such.
While the staff was busy getting ready for their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local drugstore for a cup of coffee. He sat down at the counter, ordered his coffee, and while he was drinking it, he told the druggist what his purpose was in town, then asked him if he had any idea why the birth rate was so high.
"Sure," said the druggist. "Every morning the six o'clock train comes through here and blows for the crossing. It wakes everybody up, and, well, it's too late to go back to sleep, and it's too early to get more...
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute. Listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then more...
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute. Listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to more...
Two American tourists in France stopped a gendarme on the street and complained about the behavior of the druggist down the block. "We went there to buy some prophylactics," one admitted, "but the druggist didn't speak English and we couldn't make him understand what we wanted."
"Please continue," the officer urged.
"I tried to communicate by example," the tourist explained. "I exposed myself to him, put some money on the counter and pointed to my organ. He still didn't get the point, so my friend did the same."
"Did he understand then?" the gendarme asked.
"He smiled as if he did," the American grumbled. "But then he just opened his fly, took out the largest penis I've ever seen and scooped up the money."