Druggist Jokes / Recent Jokes

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. more...

Anxious to be on time for his date, Carl nevertheless dropped into a drugstore to make a hasty purchase. The druggist gave him a knowing smile, so Carl gave him a run-down on the expectations he had for the evening.
"I met this girl at a party last week," he explained. "A real hot number. Her folks are going to the opera tonight and it will be just the two of us with the whole apartment to ourselves." Carl was greeted with a warm hug at the door by Nancy, his date. They settled on the couch and turned on the TV. Her folks would be leaving in a few minutes, she explained. Her father wasn't home from work yet and as soon as he arrived, the parents would be departing for dinner and the opera.
Nancy's father arrived soon after and she introduced both parents to Carl.
"Say, why don't Nancy and I join you this evening?" Carl suggested.
"Oh, you children don't want to be spending your evening with us old folks," said Nancy's more...

A little rural town had one of the highest birth rates in the country and this phenomenon attracted the attention of the
sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; moved to town; set up their computers; got squared away; and began
designing their questionnaires and such. While the staff was busy getting ready for their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local drugstore for a cup of coffee. He sat down at the counter, ordered his coffee, and while he was drinking it, he told the druggist what his purpose was in town, then asked him if he had any idea why the birth rate was so high. "Sure," said the druggist. "Every morning the six o'clock train comes through here and blows for the crossing. It wakes everybody up, and, well, it's too late to go back
to sleep, and it's too early to get up."

A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; hired a few additional sociologists, anthropologist and a family planning and birth control specialist; moved to town; rented offices; set up their computers; got squared away; and began designing their questionnaires and such. While the staff was busy getting ready for their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local drugstore for a cup of coffee. He sat down at the counter, ordered his coffee, and while he was drinking it, he told the druggist what his purpose was in town, then asked him if he had any idea why the birth rate was so high. "Sure," said the druggist. "Every morning the five o'clock train comes through here and blows for the crossing. It wakes everybody up, and, well, it's too late to go back to sleep, and it's too early to get up."

Two older ladies were swimming in the pool at a Miami hotel. One of
the ladies was about to get out of the pool and the first lady asked if
she would bring her a cigarette when she came back.
"That's no problem, dear." And pulling a condom from her halter,
untied the knot and revealed several cigarettes and some matches.
"That's clever. What do you call it?"
"Why, it's a condom, dear. You can get them at the drug store."
Later that day, the lady went into the drug store and asked the
druggist for some condoms. The druggist looked at the packages of various
quantities and asked the lady what size she wanted.
"Oh, big enough for a king sized Camel!"

A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic.

The druggist ask's "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?".

The lady say's "To kill my husband."

I can't sell you any for that reason" says the druggist.

The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of a man and a women in a compromising position, the man is her husband and the lady is the druggist's wife, and shows it to the druggist.

He looks at the photo and says. . . . . . " Oh I didn't know you had a prescription!"

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, a husband was met at the door by his upset wife.

Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."

Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute. Listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I locked the house with both the house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys."

The druggist continued, "Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got here, there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, more...