Drugs Jokes / Recent Jokes
Festivity Level One
Your guests are sitting around chatting, nibbling the party food, sipping their drinks. They are admiring your Christmas tree ornaments and stand around the piano singing carols.
Festivity Level Two
Your guests are talking loudly, occasionally to one another. They are wolfing down the food, gulping their drinks, rearranging your Christmas ornaments and sitting on the piano singing "I Gotta Be Me."
Festivity Level Three
Your guests are holding conversations with inanimate objects, gulping other peoples' drinks, wolfing down Christmas ornaments and dancing around the piano shouting the words to "I Can't Get No Satisfaction".
Festivity Level Four
Your guests, food smeared across their naked bodies, are capering around the burning Christmas tree in some unholy ritual. The piano is missing.
Unless you rent your home, or own heavy firearms, you generally don't want your parties operating above Level Three. The true test more...
I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.
Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles
and disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug
consumption problem all over the world. After giving it much
thought they reached the conclusion that in order to better
deal with the problem, that they should try the drugs themselves
and then decide on the correct way to proceed. It was therefore
decided that a commission made up of some of the members return
to earth to get the different types of drugs.
The secret operation is effected and two days later the
commissioned disciples begin to return to heaven.
Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in the first disciple:
"Who is it?"
"It's Paul"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring, Paul?"
"Hashish from Morocco"
"Very well son, come in."
"Who is it?"
"It's Mark"
Jesus opens the more...
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
The first of the semi-legendary "I Am Drugs" shorts created for my short lived sketch group The Decline and Fall Of Saturday Night. Jeff Dickinson is the perfect spokesman for capital "A" Alcohol, which you can see above. Other drug PSA's include Weed (Dave Baldwin), Heroin (Diane O'Debra), PCP (Matt Preskenis), and Dimethyltryptamine-42 (Sean Crespo). The shorts uploaded here are the versions currently airing on FUSE network's show "Munchies," minus the music we were originally using, R.E.M.'s I Am Superman. Directed/Edited by Alan Harris. Written by Sean Crespo/Matt Preskenis. a DRINK AT WORK production
"Psst, c'mere," said the shifty-eyed man wearing a long black trenchcoat, as he beckoned me off the rainy street into a damp dark alley. I followed."What are you selling?" I asked."Geometrical algebra drugs.""Huh!?""Geometry drugs. Ya got your uppers, your downers, your sidewaysers, your inside-outers...""Stop right there," I interrupted. "I've never heard of inside-outers.""Oh, man, you'll love' em. Makes you feel like M. C. ever-lovin' Escher on a particularly weird day.""Go on...""OK, your inside-outers, your arbitrary bilinear mappers, and here, heh, here are the best ones," he said, pulling out a large clear bottle of orange pills."What are those, then?" I asked."Givens transformers. They'll rotate you about more planes than you even knew existed.""Sounds gross. What about those bilinear mappers?""There's a whole variety of them. Here's one you'll more...