Duck Jokes / Recent Jokes

A circus owner walks into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap-dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheelin’ and dealin’ they settled for $10, 000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, “Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn’t dance a single step! ” “So? ” asked the ducks former owner, “did you remember to light the candle under the pot? ”

What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A duck filled fatty puss.

A duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom.
The sales person comes back with the condom and says "Put this on your bill sir" to which the duck replies "what do you think I'M a dickhead!"

What is a duck's favorite TV show? The feather forecast!

A duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom.The sales person comes back with the condom and says "Put this on your bill sir" to which the duck replies "what do you think I'M a dickhead!"

a duck walks in to a drug store to get some chapstick and the salesman asked "how would you like to pay for that?" and the duck goes "just put it on my bill"

a duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender
"
do you got any grapes?"
the bartender looks up and says "
no"
the duck comes into the bar the next day and asks again
"
do ya got any grapes?"
the bartender again says "
no"
the duck comes into the bar again and asks once more
"
do you got any grapes?"
the bartender gets outraged and says
"
if you ask me that again i'll nail your feet to the floor!!"
so the duck comes in the next day and asks
"
doyou got any nails?"
the bartender says "
no"
so the duk asks
"
do ya got any grapes?"