Dude Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy worked in an adult book store. One afternoon his friend walked in.
The guy said, "Dude, thank goodness you showed up!" "I'm starving, and I need you to watch the counter for me for a few minutes, while I run across the street to get some lunch."
The friend looked around the store, then looked back at his friend oddly.
The guy said, "Dude, don't ask any questions, just sell it to em."
The friend said, "Ok". So the guy left.
A customer came in, and went up to the counter. She said, "I want a vibrator. What do you have?"
The friend said, "We got red ones, white ones, black ones, big ones, little ones and medium sized ones."
The lady said, "I'll take a little red one to carry in my bag."
He sold it to her.
Another woman walked in. She approached the counter and said, "I would like a vibrator, what do you have?"
The friend replied, "Red, black or white, large, more...

This chick goes to a bar and picks up this guy and they get talkin and they end up going back to her place. about an hour later her husband walks in and see's this guys underwear on the floor. he says "next time i see another guyz pants on the floor im gunna pull out everyone of ur pubic hairs"! the next night she goes to the bar again and says hi to this black dude. she said you wanna come back to my place? and he says only for a chocolate biky. so she gave him the biky and headed home. they got upstairs and she said you wanna get naked? and he said only for a chocolate biky. then she gave him the biky and got naked. then she said to him you wanna root me hard? and he said only for a chocolate biky. so she gave him the biky and they got right into it. about an hour later her husband was coming up the stairs. then she said quick get in the closet and he said only for a choclate biky. so she gave him the biky and he got in. the husband then saw the pants on the floor and more...

"Dude, she just called you short/gay/awkward/posh/hobo/geek/nerd/lazy/ninja!" "OH, HELL NO! Hold this machine which allows me to take the form of whatever sterotype that girl thinks of!"

There was this gay guy, a cigarette dude, and a donut eater. and they were all in hell because they were either gay, smoked cigarettes, or ate donuts. And the devil said i will let u go back to earth if u quit these habits. So they said ok and they went back to earth and they were all walking down the street. Then they all saw a donut store and the donut man ran in and as soon as he touched the donut POOF! He was gone. so the other two continued walking and the cigarette dude saw a cigarette on the ground and he started to BEND OVER to pick it up and POOF!!! The gay guy disappeared.

"Dude, she just called you a tranny!" "OH, HELL NO! Hold my padded bra!"