Dude Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Dude, she just called you a geek!" "OH, HELL NO! Hold my bag, thermos flask, glasses case, protractor, scientific calculator, built-in GPS, time-machine, iPhone and name tag!"

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and --WHACK!! knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."

The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden --WHACK-- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."

So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves.

The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and --WHAM!!!"-- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!!

The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he comes to, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears."

A drunk walks into a bar and notices a banner that says "win $10,000; ask bartender for details".
He asks and the bartender says "well, you see that man at the end of the bar?". the drunk looks over and sees a huge, burley dude. the bartender says "if you can knock him out with one punch, you go to the second step...
The door right behind that big guy opens into a room containing an aligator with a sore tooth. if you can pull his tooth and come out alive, you move on to step three...
Those stairs next to the door go up to an eighty year old hooker's apartment. she has never been satisfied by any man. if you can satisfy her, you win the money!"
The drunk says ok and orders a double shot of whiskey. he belts that down, walks to the end of the bar and POW!, knocks the big dude out. he orders another double, belts it down, walks to the door, steps inside and closes the door. BAM, CRASH, GROWL is all the bartender and patrons can hear for a few more...

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking,
minding his own business when all of a sudden this
great big dude comes in and -WHACK!!- he knocks
him off the bar stool and says,
"
That was a karate chop from Korea."
The little guy thinks "
GEEZ"
but he gets back up on
the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden
-WHACK- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and
says,
"
That was a judo chop from Japan."
So the little guy has had enough of this so he leaves
and is gone for an hour or so and when he comes back
-WHACK!!!"
- He knocks the big dude off his stool
and out cold!!!
The little guy looks at the bartender and says,
"
When he comes to, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears.

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1997 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"
The young man replies, " A 1997 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000." "That's a lot of money." says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.
The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?" "Sure", replies the proud owner.
So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"
Just then, the more...

A quite man was sitting at a sports bar minding his own business when all of a sudden a big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- Knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor.
The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the bar stool again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! --

The big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."
So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves.

The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned.
Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!!" -- Knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!!!
The little guy looks at the waitress and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a SLUGGER from LOUISVILLE.

There are three men in the woods and they asked a dude if they could stay there for the night and he said yes as long as you dont f*** my dauhgter so the dude put gliter on his dauhters pussy and one mornig he told the three dudes to pull down there pants and the first dude had glitter on his d*ck so he chopped it off. the second dude had glitter on his d*ck to so he chopped it off as well and the third dude had glitter on his mouth.