Dumb Jokes / Recent Jokes
Yo Mama is so dumb it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg!
I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why their computer would not turn on.
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.' Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied,' I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery for this?'' Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.' No, just this remote' thingy,'' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,' Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries...it's a long walk.'
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Tech Support:' What does the screen say now.'
Person:' It says,' Hit ENTER when ready'.'
Tech Support:' Well?'
Person:' How do I know more...
Dumb Massachusetts laws and humor, relating to many aspects of the state, its weather, and its people.
Massachusetts Crazy Law Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
Three idiots try out for a job to be a detective. The trainer they have pulls out a picture. He asks them each separately, "How would you recognize this suspect?"
The 1st idiot says "He only has 1 eye"
So the trainer says "it's a profile."
Frustrated, he moves along to the 2nd one and he said, "how would you recognize this suspect?"
The idiot says "he only has one ear."
Even more frustrated he yells at her and says "its a profile!"
He goes to the 3rd idiot and once again he asks, "How would you recognize this suspect?"
The idiot answers "he wears contact lenses."
The amazed trainer goes and checks the computer database. He returns 5 minutes later and says, "wow! he does where contact lenses, how did you know that?"
The idiot replies, "he can't wear normal glasses silly, he only has one ear"
Three guys, one Tamil, one British and one Sinhalese are speakers at the 5th International Deaf and Dumb Conference at London's Park Lane Hilton Hotel.
Tamil guy gets up to speak but then realises none of the audience will understand due to their disability. He therefore places his hands upon his head abd waves them like antlers. Suddenly the audience all clap.
The British and Sinhalese guys wonder why the audience clap - the Tamil guy says the antler gesture meant "dear" etc. Envious at the Tamils skills of improvisation the British guy then gets up to the stage and does a similar gesture but rubs his breast and groin. The audience clap even more enthusiastically.
The other two guys ask him what he actually said by way of the gestures. He replies " Dear Ladies and Gentleman". Not to let his country down, the Sinhalese guy then places his hands upon his head in antler way, rubs his breast and groin and then proceeds to unzip his fly, and masturbate more...