Ear Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution.
He heard of a very good one in Sweden, and went to him. The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said,' yes, I can put you right.'
After the operation, bandages off, stitches out, he goes to his hotel.
The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon, and yells,' You swine, you gave me a woman's ears.'
'Well, an ear is an ear. It makes no difference whether it is a man's or a woman's.'
'You're wrong! I hear everything, but I don't understand any thing!'

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.

The doctor asked her "What happened?"

She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"

"The person called back."

A blonde goes to a doctor and tells him that both her ears are burnt.' Sit down and tell me how it happened,' said the doctor.' Well, I was ironing my clothes when I received a phone call, and instead of picking the phone, I picked up the iron and burnt my ear!'' Okay, I see...But that's one ear - what about the other?'' They called again!!'

A Sardarji went to a doctor with 2 red ears. The Doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered "
I was ironing my shirt and the phone-rang. Instead of picking up the phone I picked up the Iron and stuck it to my ear".
The Doctor exclaimed in disbelief" Oh Dear!, What happened to your other ear? ".
The Sardar replied "The scoundrel called back".

The top 10 reasons for Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear: 10. Got a little carried away after seeing "Face/Off"9. Really wanted to win first prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos"8. Like this doesn't happen every year in the Masters7. Whenever Moe bites Curly's ear, it's hilarious! 6. Has to do this kind of thing to compensate for the fact that he talks like Melanie Griffith 5. I guess you've never heard of a little thing called "strategy"4. Ears is tasty3. It was self-defense -- he wouldn't stop punching me! 2. "Disqualified" sounds better than "got his ass kicked all over the ring" 1. He ran out of gum

American, an Australian and an irishman standing outside the Recruitment office waiting for their medicals.
the yank goes in, half hour later comes out grinning from ear to ear.."they dont want me..... medically unfit... classification FF, i cant march, FLAT FEET!!!
the australian goes in next, 1 hour later comes out grinning as well.."they dont want me.. medically unfit..... classification FA, i cant march, FALLEN ARCHES!!!
So now its Paddy's turn. One hour goes by, then 2 hrs, then 3. "oh shit, looks like Paddy has had it!!!" says the Aussie. Just then Paddy comes out, grinning the biggest grin you have ever seen.
Were you rejected you too, they shout! ! Hooray.
paddy replies, " yes, didnt want me.. medically unfit.... classification FC.
"FC"??? asks the yank, whats that? ?
Paddy replies proudly, yep. ... medically unfit. classification FC...... i cant march!!....... FUCKING CANCER!!!!

A cowboy gets captured by bandits who tie him up in the middle of the desert. They tell him that they will come back once a day for three days to grant him three last requests and then they’re gonna kill him. They ask him what his first request is. He says, “I wanna talk to my horse. ” He whispers in the horses ear, it runs off and comes back with a beautiful blonde on it’s back who gets off the horse and makes love to the cowboy. The bandits are all amazed.
The second day the bandits ask him for his next request, “I WANNA talk to my HORSE! ” he says. He whispers in the horses ear, it rides off and returns with two red heads on it’s back. They both get off and make love to the cowboy. The bandits are loving this horse. The last day comes and they ask for his final request. “I WANNA TALK TO MY HORSE!!! ” They bring the horse over and he whispers, “Now damnit, I said bring me back a POSSE! ”