Ear Jokes / Recent Jokes

A busload of American tourists was heading towards Punjab on G. T. Road when suddenly the driver slammed on the brakes.
Lying on the road in front was a sardarji with his ear to the ground. The passengers trooped out of the bus and crowded around the man.' Hey, what are you doing down there pal?', asked one of the tourists.
The man slowly raised his head and replied:' Green Matador 25 km away travelling at 80 km.'
'Wow!', exclaimed the tourist.' You can tell us that by listening to the road?'
'No,' croaked the sardarji,' I fell off the damned thing.'

An old man had a doctor's appointment and was very hard of hearing so he took his wife with him to help. When they got into the examining room, the Doctor told the old man to take off his shirt.
The old man turned to the wife and shouted, "What did he say?" and the wife got closer in his ear and yelled, "Take your shirt off!" The old man nodded and took his shirt off.
The Doctor then asked the old man to tilt his head back so that he could have a better look down his throat.
The old man shouted, "What?" and the the wife got closer to his ear and yelled, "Tilt your head back and open your mouth." The old man nodded and tilted his head back.
When this was all over, the Doctor said, "OK, now all I need is a urine sample, a stool sample and a semen sample.
The old man yelled, "What?" and the wife got closer to his ear and yelled, "The Doctor wants your underpants!"

A cowboy is riding his horse through old Oklahoma, when all of a sudden he is captured by a tribe of indians. He is taken to their camp. The indian chief who can speak English tells the cowboy he is going to die in three days. The chief also says that since he has a big heart, he is going to give the cowboy one wish for every day until he dies, making it a total of three wishes.

For his first wish, he tells the chief he wants to talk to his horse. His horse is brought to him and he whispers something in the horse's ear and it takes off. It returns about an hour later with a beautiful woman on his back. The cowboy is furious and cusses the horse out and throws the women in his tent.

The second day he also says he wants to talk to his horse again. He whispers in the horses ear again and it takes off. It returns with another more beautiful woman. The cowboy is outraged and hits the horse and throws the women in his tent.

The last day the chief tells him more...

A rather senile old lady went to her doctor complaining ofdraining and a feeling of fullness in her ear. After theexamination, the doctor initiated a conversation that wentas follows: D: Why madam, I think you have a suppository in your ear. L:? eh? D: Madam - You have a SUPPOSITORY in your EAR! L:? ? EH?? D: (shouting) --IN YOUR EAR! -- A SUPPOSITORY!!! L: Oh, thank Goodness - now I know where I put my hearing aid....

A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up.

The boss says, " What happened to your ears?"
He says, " Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron."
The boss says, " Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"

He says, " Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"

A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and thWork jokesed great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. ThWork jokesed fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.

There once was a really dumb blonde who had two horses. Now this blonde couldn't tell her two horses apart so she decided to ask her neighbor to help he out. She said to her neighbor, "I have two horses that I can't tell apart, can you help me?" "Sure," said her neighbor, "maybe you should nick one of their ears, then you could tell them apart." So, the blonde went home and did that. The next day the blonde went to check up on her horses but saw that she could not tell them apart for the other horse had nicked it's ear also. So, she went back over to her neighbors. "My other horse has a nicked ear now to." she said, " Do you have any other ideas how to tell them apart? They are both girls." "Hmmmm." thought her neighbor," Cut one's tail shorter than the other!" So, the blonde went home and did that. The next day, though, both horses had the same length of tail! So, the blond, tired of walking to her neighbors house more...