East Jokes / Recent Jokes
' WORDS OF WISDOM AT THE HALF CENTURY MARK'
From the book,' Dave Barry Turns 50'
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe' Daylight Saving Time'.
3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.
5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
6. A penny saved is worthless.
7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a more...
NFL Team Lame Names
When a football team is having trouble getting into the win column, fans usually assign a more appropriate name to describe that team's performance. Here is a collection of some of these lame names for the NFL.
AFC West:
Denver Broncos - Denver Donkeys
Kansas City Chiefs - Kansas City Griefs
Los Angeles Raiders - Los Angeles Faders
San Diego Chargers - San Diego Rechargers
Seattle Seahawks - Seattle Weehawks
AFC Central:
Cincinnati Bengals - Cincinnati Plaingels
Cleveland Browns - Cleveland Clowns
Houston Oilers - Houston Spoilers
Pittsburgh Steelers - Pittsburgh Reelers
AFC East:
Buffalo Bills - Buffalo Nils
Buffalo Spills
Indianapolis Colts - Indianapolis Dolts
Miami Dolphins - Miami Stallfins
Miami Soft Ones
New England Patriots - New England more...
The disappointed salesman of Coke returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic.
So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters. The first poster is a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place".
"That should have worked", said the friend."
He replied, "Well, I didn't know Arabic, neither did I realize that Arabs read from right to left..."
A man is walking down the streets of Manhattan with his kid. All of a sudden they stop in front of a park and the man comments to his son... "Just think, not too long ago the Twin Towers used to be here..."
So the son asks him with an intrigued look in his face: "Dad, what were the Twin Towers?"
"They were two very tall buildings with lots of offices, but 31 years ago a bunch of terrorists from the middle east crashed a plane into each one and they collapsed."
The son, with a look of total innocence asked, "Dad, what was the middle east?"
an east indian was going in to a plane with is own food with him. a guy said what his this he said a punjabi container then it was lunch time so he was eating the guy asked what his this he said punjabi bread than he said wat is this he said punjabi daal then the guy asked again what is this he said it is punjabi yogurt then after awhile the east indian fated and the guy said wat is this the east indian said this is Air India