Economics Jokes / Recent Jokes
TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.
INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.
PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, Britain for warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, France for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.
FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on more...
An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor.
The last severe depression and banking crisis could not have been achieved by normal civil servants and politicians, it required economists involvement.
Contagion: A strory demostrating the possible outcomes from interlinkages in the financial markets.
Two economists sit down to play chess. They study the board for 24 hours and declare a stale-mate.
Q: What does it take to be a good economist?
A: An unshakeable grasp of the obvious!
Q: What`s the difference between mathematics and economics?
A: Mathematics is incomprehensible; economics just doesn`t make any sense.
An economist is someone who didn`t have enough personality to become an accountant.
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
Q: What`s the difference between a finance major and an economics major?
A: more...
An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.
Bentley`s second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
Berta`s Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."
Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn`t fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"
Q: How more...
Approval Seeker`s Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least. - Washington writer Rozanne Weissman The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don`t. Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood. Arnold`s Laws of Documentation: (1) If it should exist, it doesn`t. (2) If it does exist, it`s out of date. (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws. Astrology Laws: It`s always the wrong time of the month. - Rozanne Weissman Avery`s Rule of Three: Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job - it`s the start of a brand new series of three. Baer`s Quartet: Wat`s good politics is bad economics; what`s bad politics is good economics; what`s good economics is bad politics; what`s bad economics is good politics. - Eugene Baer (Baer also allows that it can be restated somewhat more compactly as "What`s good politics is more...
Top reasons to study Economics
1. Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
2. Economists can supply it on demand.
3. You can talk about money without every having to make any.
4. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out.
5. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
6. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
7. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
8. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.
9. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.