Economist Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dinosaur #1: "How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
Dinosaur #2: "What is an economist?"
Dinosaur #1: "A flunkie mathematician who tries to predict the population of kangaroos in Australia. But that`s not important and don`t ask what a Kangaroo is."
Dinosaur #2: "I don`t know, how many?"
Dinosaur #1: "10 economists and one grad student. One economist to make a model, one to run the regression, one to test the hypothesis, one to interpret the results, one to conclude how to screw it on, one grad student to screw it on, and five economists trying to fight off the dinosaurs trying to eat them.
There are two types of economists:
- those who cannot forecast interest rattes, and
- those who do not know that they cannott forecast interest rates.
Inflation allows you to live in a more expensive neigbourhood without moving.
Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidise it.
Economists do it cyclically.
Economists do it on demand.
Economists do it with models.
Economists do it with crystal balls.
How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. If it really needed changing, market forces would have caused it to happen.
None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
None. The invisible hand does it.
Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb.
Eight. One to change it and seven to hold everything else constant.
One to prepare the proposal, an econometrician to run the model, one each MS and PhD students to write the theses and dissertations, two more to prepare the journal article (senior authorship not assigned), four to review it, and at least as many to refine the model and replicate the results.
A mathematician, a theoretical economist and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesn't really exist) in a closed room with the lights off:
The mathematician gets crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn't exist inside the darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital.
The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn't exist inside the darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to describe all his movements with extreme accuracy.
The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spend one hour looking for the black cat that doesn't exits and shouts from inside the room that he has it catched by the neck."