Economists Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?
A: Too early to say.
Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea?
A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.
Q: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck?
A: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool.
Q: Why did the market economist cross the road?
A: To reach the consensus forecast.
Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb.
A2: Two. One to assume the existence of latter and one to change the bulb.
Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It more...
Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?
A: All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the AD (agg. demand) to the right
Q: How many Trotskyists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Smash it!
Q; How many central bank economists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just one -- he holds the lightbulb and the whole earth revolves around him.
Q: How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None - the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution.
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven, plus/minus ten.
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Irrelevant - the light bulb's preferences are to be taken as given.
Q. What's the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer's?
A. The economist is the one with the more...
Q: What do you call a little girl in a brown dress who is running across a playground?
A: A brownian motion.
Q: Why do social workers refuse to sleep with economists?
A: They have learned its a sunk cost.
Q: Why do Economists provide estimates of inflation to the nearest tenth of a percent?
A: To prove they have a sense of humour.
Q: What does it take to be a good economist?
A: An unshakeable grasp of the obvious!
Q: What is a recent economics graduate's usual question in his first job?
A: What would you like to have with your french fries sir?
Q: What's the difference between a finance major and an economics major?
A: Opportunity Cost
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1. Just one, but it really gets screwed.
2. One to prepare the proposal, an econometrician to run the model, one each MS and PhD students to write the theses and dissertations, two more more...
An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy. Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large more...
Did you know that if you took all the economists in the world and lined them
up end to end, they'd still point in the wrong direction?
We have 2 classes of forecasters: Those who don't know. . . and those who don't know they don't know.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Q: Why did God create economists?
A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.
An Economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist.
The Second Law of Economists: They're both wrong.
Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to change the bulb and one to assume the existence of ladders.
Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
A2: more...
TOP 10 REASONS TO STUDY ECONOMICS
1. Economists are armed and dangerous:
"Watch out for our invisible hands."
2. Economists can supply it on demand.
3. You can talk about money without every having to make any.
4. You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face.
5. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out.
6. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
7. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
8. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
9. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.
10. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.