Economists Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That depends on the wage rate.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities.
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking.
Q: How many more...
An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor. The last severe depression and banking crisis could not have been achieved by normal civil servants and politicians, it required economists involvement. Contagion: A story demonstrating the possible outcomes from interlink ages in the financial markets. Two economists sit down to play chess. They study the board for 24 hours and declare a stale-mate. An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality to become an accountant. Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist. The Second Law of Economists: They’re both wrong. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today. - Laurence J. Peter A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. - Marty Allen I don’t think you can spend yourself rich. - George Humphrey If all economists were laid end to end they would not reach a conclusion. - George Bernard Shaw An economist is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Tariff - A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. Economists are people who are too smart for their own good and not smart enough for anyone else’s. Economy - Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford. An economist is someone who doesn’t know what more...
There is also a joke about the last Mayday parade in the Soviet Union.After the tanks and the troops and the planes and the missiles rolled by there came ten men dressed in black. "Are they Spies?" Asked Gorby? "They are economists," replies the KGB director, "imagine the havoc they will wreak when we set them loose on the Americans"
Q: Why has astrology been invented? A: So that economy could be an accurate science. Q: What’s the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer’s? A: The economist is the one with the calculator. Q: What’s the difference between economists and businessmen? A: The first don’t keep their feet on the ground; the latest use to keep their four feet in the ground Q: Why did God create economists? A: In order to make weather forecasters look good. Q: What does an economist do? A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long ru Economists wife Two economists meet on the street. One inquires, “How’s your wife? ” The other responds, “Relative to what? ” To an economist, real life is a special case.
Two economists are walking down the street. One sees a dollar lying on the sidewalk, and says so.
"Obviously not," says the other. "If there were, someone would have picked it up!"
A traveller wandering on an island inhabited entirely by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. This shop specialised in human brains differentiated according to source. The sign in the shop read:
Artists' Brains $9/lb Philosophers' Brains $12/lb Scientists' Brains $15/lb Economists' Brains $19/lb
Upon reading the sign, the traveller noted, "My those economists' brains must be popular!" To which the butcher replied, "Are you kidding! Do you have any idea how many economists you have to kill to get a pound of brains?!"
HA!. .. It's a *supply side* joke!