Economy Jokes / Recent Jokes
The people who are happy about the recession are makers of foreclosure signs and pink slips.
Consumers were feeling confident in January: The job market was chugging along and oil prices were down. Another factor: Consumers totally ended their slumps when they hooked up with decent-looking chicks at New Year's Eve parties.
...despite record gas prices, most people are hanging on to their SUV's...most believe that with today's economy, one day they will be living in them.
INTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer. ECONOMETRICIAN VIRUS - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3. 5 percent margin of POLITICAL THINK TANK ECONOMIST VIRUS - Doesn’t do anything, but you can’t get rid of it until next election. GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS - nothing works on your system, but all your diagnostic software says everything is just fine. MARXIAN ECONOMIST VIRUS - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to. SOVIET ECONOMIST VIRUS - Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened. MAINSTREAM ECONOMIST VIRUS - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases then in “self-defense. ” CENTRAL BANK ECONOMIST VIRUS - Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file. MULTINATIONAL CORPORATION ECONOMIST VIRUS - more...
The economy is so bad......
A hooker asked to borrow $100 until she can get back on her back!
According to the USA Today, an increase in unemployment has prompted an increase in pregnancies nationwide. Apparently, women seem to want a lot more sex these days. These women do not live in my complex.
Robert Nuranen of Hancock, Michigan, just returned a copy of “Prince of Egypt” to the library 47 years late. The return, with a due date of June 2, 1960, incurred a late fee of $147.
To prevent a future incident, the library is now considering adopting Blockbuster's return policies, under which Nuranen would have incurred a fee equivalent to his own little national debt.