United States Jokes

Michelle and Barack Obama were walking around the White House grounds after a beautiful snow.  They were just admiring the beauty when written in piss they see OBAMA SUCKS. He called in the FBI, Secret Service and all the other agencies and said find out who did this!!!
A few days later the FBI comes back with the report:
Mr. President, we have some good news and some bad news…
 
Well what is the good news says Obama…
Well Mr. President…It’s John McCain’s pee….
 
The bad news…
 
 
Its Michelle's handwriting
 

Hillary Clinton is debating running for President.
Bill Clinton has been heard saying "If Hillary decides to run for President, I will help her campain..cause...a win for Hillary is an Intern for Me."

Italian researchers say that shots of Botox can relieve constipation.
"Apparently Italians inject it in a different place," said Senator Nancy Pelosi.

General Motors and Segway Inc. announced this week that they are working together to develop a two-wheeled, two seat, electric vehicle that is designed to be a fast, safe, inexpensive, and clean alternative to cars and trucks. General Motors is hoping that the vehicle is the beginning of reinventing the company to begin turning a profit and pay back the government loans that have been keeping the company afloat. There is no timetable for when the cars will become available, but the price has been set at $2 billion dollars each.

“I will leave the country if Hillary Clinton becomes president.” –Dick Morris on "Hannity & Colmes"
This means that if Hillary Clinton becomes president, Dick Morris will most likely not leave the country.