Michigan Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Alabama:
    At Least We're not Mississippi
    Alaska:
    11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
    Arizona:
    But It's a Dry Heat
    Arkansas:
    Litterasy Ain't Everthing
    California:
    As Seen on TV
    Colorado:
    If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
    Connecticut:
    Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
    Delaware:
    We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water
    Florida:
    Ask Us About Our Grandkids
    Georgia:
    Without Atlanta we're Alabama
    Hawaii:
    Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
    (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
    Idaho:
    More Than Just Potatoes...
    Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
    Illinois:
    Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
    Indiana:
    2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
    Iowa:
    We Do Amazing Things With Corn
    Kansas:
    First Of The Rectangle States
    Kentucky:
    Five Million People; Seven Last Names
    Louisiana:
    We're Not All Drunk Cajun more...

    A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
    waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When
    his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

    1) You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
    2) You think alkaline batteries were named for a tiger outfielder.
    3) Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack of beer and a bucket of smelt.
    4) Owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your hometown.
    5) You know how to play euchre.
    6) The big mac is something you drive across.
    7) You bake with soda and you drink pop.
    8) You drive 76 on the highway and pass on the right.
    9) Your Little League baseball game was snowed out.
    10) You learned to drive a boat before you learned to ride a bicycle.
    11) You know how to pronounce "Mackinac".
    12) You occasionally cheer "Go Lions - and take the Tigers with you."
    13) The word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical definition.
    14) You have ever experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
    15) You expect Vernors when you order ginger ale.
    16) You know that Kalamazoo not only more...

    Alabama: At Least We Aren't Mississippi
    Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong
    Arizona: Really, It's a Dry Heat
    Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing
    California: As Seen on TV
    Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
    Connecticut: Just Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
    Delaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in Our Water
    Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
    Georgia: Without Atlanta We're Alabama
    Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
    Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well OK, We're Not - But the Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
    Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
    Indiana: Two Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
    Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
    Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
    Kentucky: Five Million People, Nine Last Names
    Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
    Maine: We're Really Cold, But We more...

    45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
    Portsmouth, R.I. Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with a string of vending machine robberies in January when he (1) fled from police inexplicably when they spotted him loitering around a vending machine and (2) later tried to post his $400 bail in coins.
    Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida for robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chain saw, which was not plugged in.
    The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50 am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he more...

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