"Psychic Enemies Network" joke
Went on a first date with a girl. It was going great. Had dinner, listened to some jazz. Walked around the Village [Greenwich Village, in NYC] a bit.
We came across one of those storefront psychic places. The ones with the word "Psychic" in neon lights. Very original ad campaign. My date wanted to try. I figured why not.
We went in, sat down, and "Zelda" or "Hazlette" or whatever her name is started to read my date's palm. "Oooh, you're going to have a long life... you will be very rich... and the man of your dreams is already in your life-and his name begins with the letter "D."
Now, I was pissed. My name is Ray with an "R." And the rest of the night my date kept wondering, out loud, who this "dream man" might be. "Maybe it's David from the gym, or Derek from next door. Maybe Daniel from the travel agency?"
I got so fed up I told her, "Maybe it's Dick-MINE."
Date was over.
And I walk by psychics a bit quicker now.
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
Aug. 12 Moved to our new home in Montana. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see the snow covering them. Oct. 14 Montana is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride more...
A gum-chewing American and a Frenchman are sitting together in a restaurant. The American feel really proud to be an American, so he starts a conversation.
He asks the Frenchman, "When you eat bread, do you eat all of it?"
"Mais oui!, of course!" more...
Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...