Education Jokes / Recent Jokes
The teacher was conducting a class in nutrition and asked the class to name four qualities of mohter's milk.
Little Johnny pipes up and says, "I know teacher!"
Number One: It's fresh.
Number Two: It's nutritious.
Number Three: I't served at just the right temperature.
And Number Four: It comes in a cool container!
The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books.
Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't got no crayons."
"Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons.' You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?"
"Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all them crayons?"
It was the first day of school and a new student named Toshiba, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered fourth grade.
After greeting the class, the teacher said, "We'll begin by reviewing some American history. Who was it that said, 'Give me Liberty, or give me death'?"
She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. "That was Patrick Henry, 1775," the boy said.
"Now," said the teacher, ""who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth'?"
Again, Toshiba was the only student to respond. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," he said.
The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do."
Turning to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper, "Damned Japanese."
"Who said that?" demanded the teacher.
Toshiba more...
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.
"Dead," she was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!'... and it didn't move."
A seven year-old turns up in his classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher:
Teacher: "Morning Tommy, and why weren't you at school yesterday?"
Tommy: "Well Miss, my Granddad got burnt."
Teacher:"Oh Dear, he wasn't too badly hurt I hope?"
Tommy: "Oh yes, Miss. They don't mess around at those crematoriums."
Businessman comes home from work and says to his cat -Do not ever, ever, think outside the box!