Education Jokes / Recent Jokes
The teacher was giving her students a quiz on notable quotes and told them that the first student to identify who said it, would be able to leave for the day.
She first began with, "This was England's finest hour."
Mary quickly jumped up and answered, "Winston Churchill." "Correct, Mary, you may go home now," said the teacher.
Next, she said, "Ask not what your country can do for you."
Before she could quite finish, another girl yelled out, "John F. Kennedy." "Very good," commented the teacher. "You may go home now."
Annoyed that he hadn't been quick enough, little Johnny blurted out, "I wish these girls would just shut up."
Hearing this, the outraged teacher demanded to know who say it.
Johnny immediately sprank to his feet and said, "Bill Clinton. See you Monday!"
A teacher died and went to heaven. St. Peter welcomed her in and said he would show her to her place in heaven.
The first neighborhood was lovely. People were out on the park-like lawns, socializing, Bar-B-Q-ing, playing golf on a beautifully landscaped golf course, and having a fine time.
"Oh, this is wonderful", says the school teacher to St. Peter, "Is this where I'll be staying?"
"No, this is the doctors' area", replied St. Peter.
They continue the journey and come to another beautiful neighborhood. Again everyone is outside socializing. People are on tennis courts, swimming in pools.
"My, this IS paradise", gushed the teacher, "is this my neighborhood?"
"No, no, the teacher's area is next."
They move on among the clouds until they reach and equally beautiful neighborhood, but no one is outside. No one is visible anywhere and the houses appear to more...
Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests! Doctor: Never mind, you'll pass eventually. Liz: But I'm the examiner!
Q: Why dont they teach drivers education and sex education on the same day in Iraq? A: They dont want to wear out the camel.
An English Professor was lecturing to his students about the similarities between languages. He noted that in his studies of languages, he found that most every language that had a double negative, it really meant a positive. He went on to say that in none of the languages did a double positive mean a negative.
Moments after pointing this language commonalty out, a student in the back of the room replied, "Yea, right."