Efficient Jokes

Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried.
Turning to the other two engineers, he said, `At Wipro, we are trained to be extremely thorough.`
The second engineer finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.
He turned and said, `At TCS, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient.`
The third engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, `At INFY we don`t pee on our hands.`

There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.
Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:
Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they are less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.
When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.
General more...

After the micro surgeons conference in New York, the leading surgeons were in
a bar and, being drunk off there faces, began to reminice over their greatest
feats
The first, and English surgeon explained:
We had a chap caught in a printing press factory last year and all that was
left of
him was his little finger. Our team of surgeons constructed a new hand and
buit a
new arm, enigeered a new body and ultimately, he returned to the work
force. He
was so efficient he put five men out of work.
"Thats nothing." added the American surgeon. "We had a worker trapped inside
a
nuclear reactor and all that was left of him was an eyelash. We constructed
a new eye, a new skull, a new torso and new limbs. We put him back into the
workforce in under a week and he is so efficient he put 50 men out of work.
The Canadian surgeon, not to be outdone:
"I was walking down the street one day when a Fart more...

A young blonde woman had the windows in her home replaced with new energy efficient windows.
Twelve months later the contractor called her, complaining that although the windows had been installed a year ago, she still had yet to make the first payment.
"Don't you try pulling a fast one on me," scolded the blonde. "The salesman who sold me the windows promised they would pay for themselves within a year!"

Santa comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work.
The little girl asks, "Daddy, I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?"
Feeling his wife, Jeeto's gaze upon him, Santa explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system, and is very efficient."
"Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her down on the couch."