Eggs Jokes / Recent Jokes
Triplets were seated in their hi-chairs at the table as their mother asked the first one what would you like for breakfast? "I'll have some of those goddammed eggs," he exclaimed. Their mother immediately picked his little ass up and whipped it good fashion. Putting him back in his chair roughly she asked the second one politely, "What would you like?" The second triplet said, "I guess I'll have some of those eggs and a piece of that goddammed sausage." His mother immediately picked his ass up and whipped it just as good as the first. Slamming him back into his hi-chair she then turns to the third and says, "What will you have?" He said, "I'll have anything else you've got except for those goddammed eggs and that fucking sausage."
Why didn't the female frog lay eggs? Because her husband spawned her affections!
Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband kept under their bed. The box had been there for the past 20 years of their marriage but she had never invaded his privacy. One day, while cleaning, she decided to take a look in the box. She didnt figure it was anything he was hiding since she could have looked at it any other time but hadnt. In the box she found 3 eggs and 10 thousand dollars. This seemed very strange so she went to Fred and asked, "Why are there 3 eggs in a box under our bed?" He replied, "Well, every time I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the box." Sue was surprised and hurt that he had been unfaithful but she consoled herself with the fact that they had been married for over 20 years and he had only been unfaithful 3 times. "But where did the 10 thousand dollars come from?" she asked. "Well, every time I got a dozen, I sold it."
Two eggs are sitting in a frying pan. The first egg turns too the other and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?"
Then the second egg exclaims "AH! It's a talking egg!!!"
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1. 99.
"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."
"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.
"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked incredulously. "I'll take the special."
"How do you want your eggs?"
"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the two eggs home.
Received from Reader's Digest.