Eggs Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer
to tell a story.
Suzy said, "Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto theroad."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story.
Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next is little Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy more...
Why do we paint Easter eggs? Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
A REGULAR consumer, who used to buy eggs from a particular shop, always complained about the size of the eggs.
One day, out of frustration, he asked the shopkeeper,' Why can't you take ten paise more for each egg and give me bigger ones?'
Prompt came the reply,' Look, Sir, I can't play with the hen's ass for your ten paise.'
A trucker was sitting at the lunch counter eating his morning eggs and hash browns when some bikers walked in. One walked up and put his finger in the trucker's coffee and said, "That's not very hot, is it?" Another put his finger in the trucker's scrambled eggs and said, "Not very fluffy, either, huh?" After a few moments of silence, the trucker stood up, paid his bill and left the diner. "Not much of a man, was he?" said the first biker to the waitress. "You're right about that," she replied, "and not much of a driver either. He just ran over a bunch of motorcycles."
Q: Which of the following doesnt belong: wife, meat, eggs, blow job? A: The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just cant beat a blow job.
The Eight Worst Convenience Foods
And I thought nothing could top Hormel's pickled eggs. ..
8. Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that's sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.
7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on the package label -- he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me already." The second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked mutton" and "mutton" in the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases covered.
6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If you're really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, more...
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my Gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!!
Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my Gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?! They're going to STICK! Careful... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! HURRY UP! Are you CRAZY? Have you lost your mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!"
The wife stared at him. "What the &^%$&^% is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving".