Elevator Jokes / Recent Jokes
Fun thing to do in an elevator... Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You`re one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Fun thing to do in an elevator... Start a sing-along.
Theres this cathedral thats still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a "cage elevator" inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these "cage elevators" is that the doors (gate) must be closed manually for them to be "called" to another floor. One day one of the workers, Peter by name, takes the elevator to the top floor, and it is subsequently needed on the first floor by the sexton. Unfortunately, Peter forgot and left the door open. After the sexton rings for the elevator a couple times, to no avail, he yells up for the worker to send the lift back down. Visitors to the cathedral were treated to this sight: The sexton of the cathedral, head tipped up, yelling up to the heavens: "Peter! CLOSE THE GATES!!!"
Top Ten Signs That It's Going to be a Bad Shift
10. The previous shift tells you, "Things have been quiet."
9. You walk onto the floor and someone from the previous shift says, "Is it that time already?"
8. You run into the pharmacist at the elevator, he hands you a case of Prozac and says, "Here, this is for your floor."
7. Your phone rings 4 hours before your shift and they beg you to come in early.
6. After giving report, the nurse yells from the elevator, "Oh, by the way, they're' pleasantly confused'."
5. While driving to work, every radio station is playing "Knockin' on Heaven's Door".
4. As soon as you walk in, someone hands you scrubs and says, "Here, you'd better put these on."
3. You come in and find one of the previous shift nurses openly weeping at the nurse's station.
2. The nurse about to give you report looks up from her notes and asks, "How many R's in more...
Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind dates door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. "Ill be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why dont you play with Rollo while youre waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up, and if you make a hoop with your arms, hell jump through." The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling over. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through -- and over the balcony railing. Just then Pauls date walked out. "Isnt Rollo the cutest, happiest dog youve ever seen?" "To tell the the truth," he replied, "he seemed a little depressed to me."
An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City building when a young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"
Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over and farts and says, "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound.
John got off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. "I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you play with Spot, my dog, while you're waiting?" He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through." The dog followed John onto the balcony and started rolling over. John made a hoop with his arms and Spot jumped through--over the balcony railing. Just then John's date walked out. "Isn't Spot the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?" "To tell the the truth, " he replied, "Spot seemed a little depressed to me!"