Elian Jokes

1. I want to thank your great land for not turning my young boy into a political football.

2. I will only be interviewed by respected ABC newsman Leonardo DiCaprio.

3. As long as I'm here, I also want to take back Jennifer Lopez.

4. Please don't let Robert Urich play me in the movie version of this whole mess.

5. I don't care if you are from the Yankees - I can't pitch!

6. Elian can wait - first I visit the grave of Ricky Ricardo.

7. I bow to your superior capitalist system which has given the world the hat that holds two beer cans.


- "The Late Show with David Letterman"

Rumors have been circulating regarding what the troopers were shouting after they found the man hiding Elian Gonzalez in a closet during the raid of the house that was illegally holding him. Some people claim they were shouting,"Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!" Others claim it was "Score! Score! Score!"But the real truth is, when the trooper ripped open the closet door and was brought face to face with the fisherman holding Elian, he shouted, "Drop the chalupa!"

Q: Why is President Clinton so reluctant to decide the fate of Elian Gonzalez?

A: Because the last time he made a decision about where to put a Cuban He was almost impeached.

Some are getting tired of this ongoing saga. Since the media won't give it a rest and move on, we recommend playing the following game during any network or local news shows, "special reports," news magazines (i.e.,Dateline, 20/20, etc), talk shows, or any other appropriate TV shows.

Guaranteed to make watching this story more entertaining or your money back!

Beverages required to play the game: Each player must have a beer handy, a liquor appropriate for pouring shots is also required (tequila or rum is preferred).

RULES OF PLAY

- If a TV announcer says "Castro" everyone in the room must salute with their left hand. The last person to do so must take a shot. If anyone salutes with their right hand accidentally, they also have to take a shot.

- If the photo of the SWAT "gunman" is shown, everyone must act scared. The last person to do so must take a shot and then go into a closet until he is more...

Rumors have been circulating regarding what the troopers were shouting after they found the man hiding Elian Gonzalez in a closet during the raid of the house that was illegally holding him.
Some people claim they were shouting,"Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!" Others claim it was "Score! Score! Score!"
But the real truth is, when the trooper ripped open the closet door and was brought face to face with the fisherman holding Elian, he shouted, "Drop the chalupa!"