Emergency Jokes / Recent Jokes
Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you would not have been notified.
The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up the clerk on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that he should hurry with the file.
After more than 30 minutes the clerk appears all tired and panting for breath.
The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay.
The clerk replies,' Boss when I went to the lift it said' during an emergency please use the staircase'!!!
According to "The Australian," an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign.The vibration stopped immediately.A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.
It was Sunday, when the brain surgeon discovered a huge leak in his basement pipe. He rushed upstairs and called the plumber.
"Triple-A Plumbing? This is an emergency! Get over here quick!"
"Okay, but I charge extra for Sunday emergency service," replied the plumber.
"Anything! Just stop this leak!"
The plumber arrived, took out a tiny wrench from his bag, and lightly tapped the pipe. The leak stopped. The plumber handed the relieved homeowner a bill for $500.00.
"What?" screamed the surgeon. "That's unbelievable! Why, I'm a brain surgeon and I don't make $500 for 5 minutes' work!"
"I know," agreed the plumber. "Neither did I when I was a brain surgeon!"
Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared," the weather report said."You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole said, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Again Ole replied, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again theyre sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and the power went out and Ole didnt get the rest of the instructions. more...
Friendship Plan Announced
This is an addendum to the new compensation/benefits package.
BOEING MANAGED FRIENDSHIP
Welcome to Boeing Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships at work. With all the recent mergers and buyouts, it is difficult for most people to determine who their real friends are anymore. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with company-approved representation and important cost-saving features.
How Does It Work?
Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.
What's Wrong with my Current Friends?
If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from a network of friendship providers haphazardly patched together from your old neighborhoods, more...
There was a very old woman who'd had enough of life.
One day she asked her doctor how to commit suicide in a quick manner. He told her to stab herself with a sharp knife two inches below and to the right of her left breast.
A few days later he was called to the hospital on an emergency. He found the same ancient woman in the emergency room with a horrible stab wound in her knee.