Endangered Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESMAN,' WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?' HE SAID IF HE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO' GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?'

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED more...

One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle, killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species.At court, he plead innocent to the charges against him claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation.The judge ruled in his favor.In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it. What did it taste like?"The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"

(This joke comes from folk musician Art Thieme, who told it at a
University of Chicago Folk festival)
A ranger was walking through the forest and encountered a hunter
with a rifle and a dead loon.
"What in the world do you think you're doing? Don't you know that
the loon is an endangered bird?"
Instead of answering, the hunter showed the ranger a trunk containing
12 more dead loons.
"What on earth are you going to do with 13 dead loons?" the
ranger asked.
"My family eats them."
"Well, what does a loon taste like?"
"Oh, somewhere between an American Bald Eagle and a Trumpeter Swan..."