Entry Jokes / Recent Jokes
ENGLISH FILIPINO TRANSLATION Asset - Ari Fixed Asset - Aring Nakatirik Liquid Asset - Aring Tumutulo Written-off Asset - Aring Pinutol Cut-off time - Oras ng Pagputol Depreciation - Pagkalaspag ng Ari Fully Depreciated Asset - Aring Laspag na Laspag na Earning Asset - Aring Ganado Pa Non-Earning Asset - Aring Baldado na Owned Asset - Sariling Ari Other Asset - Ari ng Iba Miscellaneous Asset - Mga Aring Pinagsamasama Erroneous Entry - Mali ang Pagkapasok Double Entry - Dalawa ang Pinasukan Multiple Entry - Labas-pasok Correcting Entry - Itinama ang Pagpasok Reversing Entry - Baligtad ang Pasok Tangible Asset - Aring Nasasalat Dispensed - Nilabasan Undispensed - Hindi Nilabasan
A cab driver reached the Pearly Gates where he was met by St. Peter. After reading the entry for the cabby in his Big Book, St. Peter told him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.
Next in line behind the cabby was a preacher who had been observing these proceedings with great interest. St. Peter read the preacher's entry in his Big Book and said, "Ok, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
Astonished, the preacher replied, "But, St. Peter, I am a man of the cloth! You gave the cab driver a silk robe and a golden staff. Surely I rate higher than a cabby."
"Here we are simply interested in results," St. Peter explained. "When you preached, people slept. When the cabby drove his taxi, people prayed."
Solitaire' 99
Here is the README. TXT file from Microsoft's latest software product.
Microsoft Solitaire' 98
README file, v4. 3
Welcome!
Congratulations!
Welcome to the wonderful world of Microsoft Solitaire' 98! This classic game has been a Windows fixture for many years, and after a long period of development, we are pleased to announce that it has been updated to take advantage of many exciting, Microsoft- pioneered technologies, such as "long filenames!"
For years, our users have made demands, and Microsoft has listened. You told us that you wanted an operating system in which Solitaire was a seamless, integrated component. You wanted to blend in Solitaire with how you worked, how you played, and in general, you wanted Solitaire to *define your computing experience.*
Solitaire' 98 brings this dream to a blissful reality.
System Requirements:
- 266 MHz Pentium II more...
Editor's Note: It's dry parody. You gotta really like sci-fi to enjoy this one...
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Experiment 8 Postflight Summary
NASA publication 14-307-1792
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ABSTRACT
The purpose of this experiment was to prepare for the expected participation in long-term space based research by husband-wife teams once the US space station is in place. To this end, the investigators explored a number of possible approaches to continued marital relations in the zero-G orbital environment provided by the XXXXXX shuttle mission.
Our primary conclusion is that satisfactory marital relations are within the realm of possibility in zero-G, but that many couples would have difficulty getting used to the approaches we found to be most satisfactory.
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INTRODUCTION
The more...
Solitaire' 99Here is the README. TXT file from Microsoft's latest software product. Microsoft Solitaire' 98README file, v4. 3Welcome! Congratulations! Welcome to the wonderful world of Microsoft Solitaire' 98! This classic game has been a Windows fixture for many years, and after a long period of development, we are pleased to announce that it has been updated to take advantage of many exciting, Microsoft- pioneered technologies, such as "long filenames!" For years, our users have made demands, and Microsoft has listened. You told us that you wanted an operating system in which Solitaire was a seamless, integrated component. You wanted to blend in Solitaire with how you worked, how you played, and in general, you wanted Solitaire to *define your computing experience.* Solitaire' 98 brings this dream to a blissful reality. System Requirements:- 266 MHz Pentium II or better- 800 megabytes of free hard drive space (2. 1 gigabytes recommended)- 128 megabytes of RAM (256 more...
This is from a contest on Long Island. The requirements were to use the words
Lewinski and Kaczynski in a limerick. Here are the 3 winners.
Entry # 1
There once was a gal named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas "Hail to the Chief"
on this flute made of beef
that stole the front page from Kaczynski.
Entry # 2
Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky
We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you look such a mess,
use the hem of your dress
And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.
Entry # 3
Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
what Kaczynski must surely have known:
that an intern is better
than a bomb in a letter
given the choice of how to be blown.
The first mate was found to be drunk one day and that day it happened
to be the captain's turn to write in the ship's log so he wrote:
The first mate was drunk today.
He begged and pleaded to the captain to remove that entry but the captain
argued that once an entry was made in the company's log it couldn't be
deleted. The first mate decided to get even.
The next time it when it was the first mate's turn to write in the log, he
wrote:
The captain was sober today.