Environment Jokes / Recent Jokes

A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.

The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What do I look like, a weatherman?" He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

SEX(1) EUNUCH Programmer's Manual SEX(1)
NAME
sex - have sex
SYNOPSIS
sex [ options ]... [ username ]...
DESCRIPTION
sex allows the invoker to have sex with the user(s) speci-
fied in the command line. If no users are specified, they
are taken from the LOVERS environment variable. Options to
make things more interesting are as follows:
-1 masturbate
-a external stimulus (aphrodisiac) option
-b buggery
-B
bestiality with
-c chocolate sauce option
-C chaining option (cuffs included) (see also -m -s -W)
-d
get a date with the features described in
-e exhibitionism (image sent to all machines on the net)
-f foreplay option
-i coitus interruptus (messy!)
-j jacuzzi option (California sites only)
-l leather option
-m masochism (see -s)
-M triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option
-n necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program
kills it)
-o oral option
-O parallel access more...