Everyday Jokes / Recent Jokes

a kid would get on the bus everyday and sit behind the bus driver everday. he would always make up crazy things like if my mom was a mommy cow and my dad a daddy cow i would be a baby cow. everyday he would do this. one day the bus driver got so annoyed with this kid he said, what if your daddy was a robber and your mommy was a prostute? this kid replied, then i would be a bus driver!

What type of Asian are you?
Girls, take this test to find out
Guys, or scroll down. GIRLS 1. On a typical Friday night, you're most likely to be seen at: A) pool hall
B) the mall
C) at home, getting an early start on homework
D) cafe shop
E) your friend's house, having a sleepover 2. Your normal everyday wear is: A) tight shirts, spaghetti straps, baggy jeans, and extra dark lipstick
B) lots and lots of makeup - to impress the guys of course
C) thick glasses, long sun dresses, penny loafers, or sandals
D) high pumps, expensive designer clothes and tons of jewelry
E) college or Mickey Mouse sweatshirts with blue jeans 3. You usually give out your number when: A) almost never, guys get scared off by your mean looks
B) any foine guy happens to ask for it
C) never - you're not supposed to talk to guys
D) there's money floating around him
E) any white guy asks for it 4. When you go to the mall, you: A) give menacing more...

You don't know what "Wushu" means When someone ask you what style you do you say:"kungfu" You don't do qi gong everyday You don't know Tajiquan is the most feared style in china You mixed Wushu moves you saw in Jet Li movies with your karate forms You go to some fake Shaolin school Your teacher claims to master at least 700 forms You don't train everyday You break dance You like Jet Li but do tae kwon do You think Wushu is a dance You don't know Taiji can kill people You rarely train, you listen to hip hop, and you like Wu Tang Clan You collect Jet Li movies and manga stuff You proudly wear cotton Chinese martial arts uniform with white buttons You teach karate.... and also Taiji You use the word Shaolin more than once a year You own a katana you bought in Chinatown and your proud of it You go to Asian parties You think your a good martial artist You read books about Buddhism too You went to a Zen meditation class once and never went back You think you don't need more...

Mr. Eric was walking around the form 3 block when he saw one of the form 3 class, 3'T', making noise. He entered the classroom and this is what happened....
Mr. Eric: Who was playing and talking please stand up or the whole class gets it.
Anand: "Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up"(Eminem)
Mr. Eric: You! I want you to come to my office now Office Time: 0900hrs
Mr. Eric: What Is Your name?
Anand: "Say My Name Say My Name"(Destiny's Child)
Mr. Eric: Don't play a fool
Anand: "Can't Believe I'm The Fool Again"(Westlife)
Mr. Eric: Do you want me to beat you?
Anand: "Hit Me Baby One More Time"(Britney Spears)
Mr Eric: What did u say?
Anand: "WHAT!"(Stone Cold)
Mr. Eric: Are you out of your head? Anand: "I Can't Get U Outta My Head"(Kylie Minogue)
Mr. Eric: Who do you think you are?
Anand: "I'm A Genie In Bottle"(Christina Aguilera)
Mr. Eric: more...

To help the new wave of incoming students from India, here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday: Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean? A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target.... Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation? A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem..... Q. Does India have cars? A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes. Q. Does India have TV? A. No. We more...