Exam Jokes / Recent Jokes
Banta singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought. .. and atlast I wrote THUNK! !!"
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Bcz it was an entrance exam
A young doctor, doing his residency in OB/Gyn, felt embarrased while performing a female pelvic exam. To cover his embarrassment, he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
While he was performing this exam on a middle aged lady, she suddenly burst out laughing. This only furthered his embarrassment.
"Just what do you find so amusing, madam?" he snarled.
"I'm so sorry, doctor," she replied, "but the song you were whistling was... 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner'!"
The rules at a particular university were such that if the professor were not present in the classroom by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was considered a "walk" and the students were free to leave - with no penalties for missing a class.The rooms were equipped with the type wall clocks that "jumped" ahead each minute, in a very noticeable fashion. As it were, these clocks were also not of the most sophisticated construction. Some enterprising student discovered that if one were to hit the clock with chalkboard erasers, it would cause the clock to "jump" ahead 1 minute.It became almost daily practice for these students to take target practice at the clock (as it would have it, this particular professor was not the most punctual, and the students considered him severely "absent-minded"). A few well aimed erasers, and lo, 15 minutes were passed, and class dismissed itself.Well, when the day for the next exam rolled around, the professor more...
The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.You will have trouble with the ties on your dobok pants when members of the opposite sex are in class.The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the instructor will be sick.The instructor will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.
Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.
The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a ________."
Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.
Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?"
Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba. "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM."
"Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now."
He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell more...
After the phenomenal success of Viagra, Pfizer has come up with yet another pharmaceutical sensation: knowledge pills.
A student who is way behind in his English literature class, goes to the pharmacy, and asks the pharmacist if there are knowledge pills for English literature.
"Sure", the pharmacist replies.
The student buys one, swallows it, and hours later he knows everything there is to know about English literature. If it's that easy to acquire knowledge, he thinks, why waste hours wrecking your brains over boring textbooks? So, he gives up studying, and whenever an exam is near, he goes to the pharmacy and buys the right knowledge pill: biology, art history, world history - you name it.
When he has to take a math exam, he goes again to the pharmacy as asks for a knowledge pill for mathematics.
"Just wait a moment", the pharmacist says. He disappears in the back of his store and comes back with a pill of the size of a more...