Facelift Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. "Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up." "Oh, no." The woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back." The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up, and they disappear." "That's what I want!" Exclaims the lady. "Let's do that." Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office. "Well, how's the procedure holding up?" The doctor asks. "Terrible!" The lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've ever made." "What's wrong?" Asks the doctor. "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" She hollers. "Lady," the doctor retorts, more...

A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift.
"Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up."
"Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back."
The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up, and they disappear."
"That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that."
Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office. "Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks.
"Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've ever made."
"What's wrong?" asks the doctor.
"Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she more...

A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift."Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up.""Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back."The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up and they disappear.""That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that." Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office."Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks. "Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've ever made.""What's wrong?" asks the doctor. "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers."Lady," the doctor reports, more...

An old lady walks into a plastic surgeon's office and tells him she wants a facelift. He says "Well, we have three models. The first is for $1000 and is guaranteed for one year, the second is $3000 and is guaranteed for 3 years and the last is $5000 and it is guaranteed for 5 years."
The old lady says "Well tell me about them."
The doctor says, "For $1000 you are going to get a half-ass job that you pay very little for."
She responds, "Forget that one, what about the next one."
He explains, "For $3000 we do a much better job and pay close attention to detail, but it is only guaranteed for 3 years."
The lady says, "No, that's no good either, what about the last one."
The doctor replies, "For $5000 you are going to get the best facelift with a feature that is on the cutting edge of plastic surgery. There will be a screw attached to the back of your head and if you notice your face sagging, just come more...

A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift." Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up." "Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back." The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up and they disappear." "That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that." Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office." Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks. "Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've ever made." "What's wrong?" asks the doctor. "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers." Lady," the doctor reports, more...

A woman wanted to have a facelift, so she went to see the doctor. "Yes, I can do it, but you'll have to return in a few months for a follow-up," the doctor says.
"I would much rather have it done all at once. I don't want to have to back," she tells him.
Thinking for a few minutes, the doctor tells her, "We do have a new procedure. We put a screw in the top of your head, then any time you happen to see wrinkles reappearing, you turn the screw and it pulls the skin up causing the wrinkles to disappear."
"Perfect," she says, "that's what I'd like to have."
A few months later the woman bursts into the doctor's office. "How's the procedure holding up?" he asks her. "Horrible!" she shouts. "It's the biggest mistake I've ever made."
"What do you mean? What's wrong?" asks the doctor. "What's wrong? Take a look at these bags under my eyes," she screams.
"Ma'am, more...