Faith Jokes / Recent Jokes
IN his introduction to Fabulous Oriental Recipes, Johna Blinn lists the following:' Happy Home Recipe'
4 cups Love
2 cups Loyalty
5 quarts Faith
2 tablespoons Tenderness 1 cup Kindness
5 cups Understanding
3 cups Forgiveness 1 cup Friendship
5 teaspoons Hope
1 barrel Laughter
Take Love and Loyalty; mix thoroughly with Faith. Blend with Tenderness, Kindness, Understanding and Forgiveness. Add Friendship and Hope; Sprinkle abundantly with Laughter. Bake with Sunshine. Serve with generous helpings.
How To Be A Cultist:
Recently, the Society For Evil Overlords has noticed a regrettable
decline in the availability and quality of fanatical henchmen, evil
priests, and willing sacrificial victims. We wish to correct this
growing problem by submitting the following general guidelines for
Cultists.
1. Pick one faith and stay with it. Dilettantism is the mark of
the amateur.
2. Avoid needless embarrassment. Practice the correct
pronunciation of your deity+s name in the privacy of your own room
before chanting it in public. Flash cards are often helpful.
3. Never invoke anything bigger than your head.
4. Avoid all cabalistic jewelry over ten pounds in weight+ it
attracts unwelcome attention from tourists, policemen, various
supernatural creatures, and can be downright dangerous during
thunderstorms.
5. Citronella candles may not be used in rituals. I cannot stress
this more...
A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it. "I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian. Rabbi... where did I go wrong?" "Funny you should come to me," said the Rabbi. "Like you, I, too, brought my boy up in the faith, put him through University, cost me a fortune, then one day he comes and tells me he has decided to become a Christian." "What did you do?" asked the lawyer. "I turned to God for the answer," replied the rabbi." And what did he say?" He said, "Funny you should come to me..."
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing
Don't read this if you're an easily offended Catholic.
Ah, what Catholics have to endure for their faith. Take communion for
example-you spend hours sitting around on a hard bench, only get one
small cracker to eat, and get to spend the rest of the day poking
around with your tongue trying to scrape Jesus Christ off the roof of
your mouth.
A Priest and a Rabbi are riding in a plane. After a while, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The Rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."
The Priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?"
To which the Rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted pork."
The Priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the Rabbi spoke up and asked the Priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The Priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The Rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The Priest replied, "Yes Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."
The Rabbi nodded understandingly for a moment and then said, "A more...