Faith Jokes / Recent Jokes
A COUNTRY bumpkin was suffering from an indigestion problem, and some of his friends in the village recommended that he see the village doctor who enjoyed a good reputation. Soon the bumpkin entered the doctor's room and told him of his bouts of indigestion. The doctor, seeing his poor financial condition, wrote out a carminative prescription and asked him to hand it to the compounder in the adjoining room. In a little while the mixture was ready, and the compounder had put six marks on a strip of paper and pasted it on the bottle. He told the patient to take one mark after a major meal. The villager went home, and after taking his noon meal, peeled off one mark and ate it. Likewise he took all the marks and went to the doctor to get some more of the mixture. The doctor laughed and contemplated how faith moves a mountain!
At a church meeting a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith.
"I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I remember that turning point in my faith. I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church meeting that night. The speaker was a missionary who told about his work.
" I knew that I only had a dollar bill and had to either give it all to God's work or nothing at all. So at that moment I decided to give my whole dollar to God. I believe that God blessed that decision, and that is why I am a rich man today."
He finished and there was an awed silence at his testimony as he moved toward his seat. As he sat down a little old lady sitting in the same pew leaned over and said to him, "I dare you to do it again."
A faith healer ran into his old friend, Max and asked him how things were going.
"Not so good, was the pained reply. "My brother is very sick."
"Your brother isn't sick," contradicted the faith healer, "he only thinks he's sick. Remember that, he only thinks he's sick."
Two months later they met again and the faith healer asked Max:
"How's your brother now?"
"Worse, groaned Max, "he thinks he's dead."
Two women were sitting in the doctor`s waiting room comparing notes on their
various disorders.
"I want a baby more than anything in the world," said the first, "But I guess it is impossible."
"I used to feel just the same way," said the second. "But then everything changed. That`s why I`m here. I`m going to have a baby in three months."
"You must tell me what you did."
"I went to a faith healer."
"But I`ve tried that. My husband and I
went to one for nearly a year and it didn`t help a bit."
The other woman smiled and whispered, "Try going alone, next time, dearie."
The following are actual signs found on church property.
"No God-No Peace. Know God-Know Peace."
"Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"
"Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."
"Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
An ad for St. Joseph`s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."
"Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons-come hear one!"
A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the more...
A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim were having a discussion about who was the most religious." I was riding my camel in the middle of the Sahara," exclaimed the Muslim. Suddenly a fierce sandstorm appeared from nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as I lay next to my camel while we being buried deeper and deeper under the sand. But I did not lose my faith in the Almighty Allah, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for a hundred metres all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day I am a devout Muslim and am now learning to recite the Koran by memory." "One day while fishing," started the Christian," I was in my little dinghy in the middle of the ocean. Suddenly a fierce storm appeared from nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as my little dinghy was tossed up and down in the rough ocean. But I did not lose my faith in Jesus Christ, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for 300 metres all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day I am a devout more...