Fan Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Yankee fan, a Met fan, and Pamela Anderson are sitting together on the subway when the lights go out and the car goes completely dark. There's a kissing noise, and then the sound of a really loud slap. When the subway cars lights come back on, Pamela Anderson and the Met fan are sitting as if nothing happened, and the Yankee fan is holding his slapped face. The Yankee fan is thinking, "That Met fan must have kissed Pamela and she swung at him and missed, slapping me instead." Pamela is thinking, "That Yankee fan must have tried to kiss me, accidentally kissed the Met fan, and got slapped for it." And the Met fan is thinking, "This is great. The next time the subway cars lights go out, I'll make another kissing noise and slap that @!#%!! Yankee fan again."

Santa and banta went to us they have stayed a five star hotel. Santa don't know how to use the european closet he dropped everything in a packet and placed it on one of the leaves of the fan. Banta came and switch on the fan and everything spread on the wall when the room boy came santa gave a 10 dollars and told him to wash it off. But the room boy gazed at it for a five minutes and taken a 25 dollars from the pocket and told to santa "i will give you this 25 dollars if you say how did u do it so beautifully".

Q. What is the difference between a litter of puppies and Alabama fans?
A. The puppies stop whining after 6 weeks.

Q. Do you know the difference between an Auburn fan getting run over by a car and an Alabama fan?
A. There are skid marks in front of the Bama fan!! Q. What`s a seven course meal at Auburn?
A. A possum and a six-pack.

Q. Do you know why Terry Bowden was fired?
A. He was too short to step down. Q. What do they put on the bottoms of Coke bottles at Auburn?
A. Please open other end.

This year`s Auburn team is so sorry they have to buy a house just to get a yard.
Q. How do you keep an Auburn football player out of your yard?
A. Put a goal post in it.

Q. How many Alabama fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Just one, but it takes a roomfull to sit around and talk about how the BEAR would have done it.

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy." Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Viciou Animal," he starts writing in his notebook." But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replied." Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again." Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook." I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy said." I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets." What team do you root for?" the reporter asked." I'm a Cowboys fan." the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck more...

A Celtic fan is walking home from a match in his Celtic kit. He fancies a drink, walks into a bar and found himself surrounded by blue and white. He's walked into a Rangers' bar. A deadly silence falls over the pub. Then the barman clears his throat and says, "In here, we give Celtic fans a toll of the dice. "If you roll one to five, we kill you."
The Celtic fan replies,"What happens if I roll a six?"
"You get to roll again."

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control. The following came from an anonymous mother. Things I've learned from my children (honest no kidding): 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the more...

Q: How many sci. math readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Pi. Two hold the ladder, one the bulb, but something irrational remains about it.

Q: How many alt. tla readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One-no! Six is!

Q: How many alt. newbie readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Me! Me too! Me too!

Q: How many alt. fan. hofstadter readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They have special lightbulbs that screw themselves.

Q: How many alt. fan. douglas-adams readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 42.

Q: How many alt. alien. visitors readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. (screw screw screw) Aargh! The light! I'm being abducted!

Q: How many alt. 1d readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Hmmm, yes, very funny, but what has this got to do with 1d?

Q: How many alt. spam readers does it take to change a more...