Fan Jokes / Recent Jokes
An Eagles fan, a Dallas Cowboy's fan and a NY Giant fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to DEATH!
However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The Cowboy fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought more...
A man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there.
When asked why, he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crime even though he would be passing up a big salary increase and greater benefits.
His co-worker said to reconsider and that Chicago was a magnificent city, with world class museums, loaded with a great history, sites, close to Canada, good public transportation, etc.
Then he said: "Why I myself worked in Chicago for almost 10 years and in all that time I never ever had a problem with crime while I was working."
The first asked, "What did you do there?"
To which the other replied, "I was tail-gunner on a bread truck."
White Sox Jokes
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Sox fans too. Not really knowing what a Sox more...
A professional wrestler went to a flight school insisting he wanted to learn to fly that day. As all
the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct him on how to pilot the helicopter
solo by radio.
He took him out, showed him how to start it and gave him the basics, and sent him on him way.
After he climbed 1000 feet, he radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and
I'm starting to get the hang of this."
After 2000 feet, he radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched him
climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that he hadn't radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as he crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and
pulled him from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, he said: "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher,
I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off more...
Youre a big internet fan, arnt you? Yes, I really get a buzz out of it!
A man walks into a Kansas bar with his golden retriever. "Hey," says the bartender, "No dogs allowed in the bar." "Oh please?," begs the customer. You see, youre playing the Royals game, and my dog is a really big fan of the Royals." "Youre trying to tell me that this here dog is a BASEBALL FAN?! Both of you get out of my bar," says the bartender. "No animals allowed, and YOU belong in a mental institution. Dogs dont like baseball!"Just then, the Royals get a hit. The dog goes wild. He jumps up on the bar and hops around in circles on his hind legs. Then he does the same on his front legs! The bartender is astounded. "That is the mostamazing thing Ive ever seen! Who ever thought a DOG could like baseball?! Im curious though.... if he gets that excited when the Royals get a hit, what does he do when they get a home run?""I dont know," confesses the owner, "I ve only had him for five years."
A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, "If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat." The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. It is hot. The girl then takes out a fan and starts fanning herself. The woman looks up and says, "If you knew what I have, you would give me that fan." The girl gives her the fan, too. Fifteen minutes later the woman gets up and says to the bus driver, "Stop, I want to get off here." The bus driver tells her he has to drop her at the next corner, not in the middle of the block. With her hand across her chest, she tells the driver, "If you knew what I have, you would let me off the bus right here." The bus driver pulls over and opens the door to let her out. As she's walking out of the bus, he asks, "Madam, what is it you have?" The old woman looks at him and nonchalantly replies, more...
Two boys are playing football in a vacant lot when one of the boys is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the first little boy rips a board off a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog`s collar, and twists, breaking the dog`s neck and killing him instantly.
A reporter, who happens to be strolling nearby, sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. "That was the most incredible act of bravery I`ve ever seen!" the reporter exclaims. He whips out his notebook and furiously scribbles the headline: "Young Bama Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal!"
The little hero sees this and says, "But sir, I`m not a Bama Fan, I`m an Auburn Fan!"
The reporter looks warily at the boy for a moment, then flips the page and begins a new headline: "Little Redneck Kills Beloved Family Pet"