Fan Jokes / Recent Jokes
Things Adults Learn From Kids:
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4 If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.
It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words more...
On the first day of school, a teacher asked her class, “Who here is a Yankees fan? ”
Every student knew that she loved the Yankees, so they replied by raising their hands, except for one girl, Rosie.
The teacher asked, “Who do you like, little girl? ” Rosie replied, “I’m a Red Sox fan and I hate the Yankees. ”
The teacher asked why and Rosie told her that her parents were Red Sox fans, so she was too. The teacher said to the class, “So if Rosie’s parents were idiots, what would that make her? ”
Rosie chimed in, “A Yankees fan!!! ”
A lady had come to a little country town at the time of their big country ball. She was staying with a friend who she was to go with to the ball. The evening of the big night, her friend became sick. The city woman decided to go any way. Her friend gave her a few pointers about what to expect at the ball. One of the pointers was that the toilets were somewhat different to what she was used to in the city. When she got to the ball, after a while she needed to go to the toilet. She asked where they were and was told they were upstairs down the corridor and on the right. After a while she got lost but found a big room with giant holes in the floor. Having remembered what her friend told her, she thought that they must have been the toilets and went about her business. When she was finished she walked downstairs to see the room was empty. She walked outside and asked a young man why everyone was standing outside. The young man replied "You mustn`t have been in there when the shit hit more...
A patient suffering from a nasty cold visited Dr. D'costa and said, groaning, "Doctor, can you cure my terrible cold? It has made things hell for me for the last four or five days."
Having never read about any confirmed cure for common cold, the young, over-zealous doctor advised after much initial hesitation, "You may do one thing. Take a hot bath and stand beneath a fan."
"Stand beneath a fan!" perplexed by the strange instruction, the patient asked, "Will your method cure me, doctor?"
"I can't say so for sure," replied Dr. D'costa, with his spectacles resting on his nose, "but if you do as directed, you are certain to get pneumonia which I can cure for sure!"
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different.
Little Johnny said, ‘Because I’m not an Obama fan. ’
The teacher asked, ‘Why aren’t you an Obama fan? ’
Johnny said, ‘Because I’m a Republican. ’
The teacher asked him why he’s a Republican.
Little Johnny answered, ‘Well, my Mom’s a Republican and my Dad’s a Republican, so I’m a Republican. ’
Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, ‘If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you? ’
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, ‘That would make me an Obama fan.
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