Far Jokes / Recent Jokes
Before heading south for a vacation, it may be a good idea to learn the language of our southern brothers and sisters. And we're here to help...
Hah Tu Spek Suthun:
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I taint herd from him in munts."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these more...
A mystery-lover take his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and whispers, "I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up. Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, "follow me."
The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle. "Thanks so much," more...
Jalashayane majhi far vitambana keli
lateshi bhetaycha manun HODI madharet neli
kinaryawril wifal pratiksha sampawun me madhadharet aalo
aata me ethe aani lat matra kinayashi geli
Before heading south for a vacation, it may be a good idea to learn the language of our southern brothers and sisters. And we're here to help... Hah Tu Spek Suthun: BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck." MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I taint herd from him in munts." ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far." BAHS - noun. A supervisor. Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"TAR - noun. A rubber wheel. Usage: more...
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
Y'ALL -- noun. A more...
Top honors for "Human Projectile of the Month" go to an as-of-yet unidentified dude who is also a serious contender for the annual "Darwin Award". That prestigious prize is given posthumously to the person who does the human gene pool the greatest service by removing himself from it in the most extraordinarily stupid fashion. Troopers from the Arizona Highway Patrol got on to this gallant if not brainless form of ballistic research after motorists reported some mysterious scorched and blackened scars on a stretch of deserted highway. The more officers found, the stranger the case got. Here is what they "pieced" together: JATO units are basically huge canisters of solid rocket fuel used to achieve "Jet Assisted Take Off", typically lifting big transport planes into the air from short, rough ground runways, or shooting overloaded planes from the decks of aircraft carriers. They were not, repeat NOT, designed to augment the inherent boost factor of more...