Far Jokes / Recent Jokes

Computer scientist Arthur Boran was ecstatic. A few minutes earlier, he had programmed a basic
mathematical problem into his prototypical Akron I computer. His request was simply, "Give me the sum
of every odd number between zero and ten." The computer's quick answer, 157, was unexpected, to say
the least. With growing excitement, Boran requested an explanation of the computer's reasoning. The
printout read as follows: THE TERM "ODD NUMBER" IS AMBIGUOUS. I THEREFORE CHOOSE TO INTERPRET IT AS
MEANING "A NUMBER THAT IS FUNNY LOOKING." USING MY AESTHETIC JUDGEMENT, I PICKED THE NUMBERS 3, 8,
AND 147, ADDED THEM UP, AND GOT 157.
A few moments later there was an addendum: I GUESS I MEANT 158.
Followed shortly thereafter by: 147 IS MORE THAN 10, ISN'T IT? SORRY.
Anyone doing conventional research would have undoubtedly consigned the hapless computer to the scrap
heap. But for Boran, the Akron I's response more...

Spokesman Shows Footage of President Tumbling from Bike

In what some political insiders were calling an attempt to lower expectations in the days leading up to the first presidential debate, the White House today announced that President Bush has an I.Q. of 67.

"The president is far, far less intelligent than is commonly thought," White House spokesman Scott McClellan told reporters. "Even the simplest tasks remain well beyond his reach."

Reinforcing the impression that the president will be overmatched in Thursday's debate with Sen. John Kerry, Mr. McClellan showed reporters never-before-seen footage of Mr. Bush oafishly tumbling from his mountain bike.

"What a moron," Mr. McClellan said.

The White House spokesman said that Mr. Bush cannot possibly be expected to do well in a debate with Sen. Kerry, who Mr. McClellan said "has an I.Q. of 193" and "is widely considered the best debater more...

Udurawana gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs
tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he
does this. Udurawana:"I've been promoted as branch
manager."

Once Udurawana professor asked a plumber to come to his
college. U know Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is
leaking...

Udurawana: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Udurawana: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Udurawana: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower
berth..

THE BEST
Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Udurawana stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Udurawana -why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Udurawana -If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?

Udurawana had twins; he named them Tin & more...

(Long)
It was the funniest damn thing that has ever happened to me. A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner. It was a Wednesday night, which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining them. It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment.

We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. Then I started my move to the hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening. I tell you-in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into my belly. I was sated. Perhaps a bit too much, more...

If a dog bites a man, they say, it is not news, but if a man bites a dog it certainly is. Well, yesterday this incident actually happened at the Pettah bus stand, Colombo. A man bit a dog. And this is how the different sections of the Sri Lankan press reported the event.

DAILY NEWS:
UNP THUG BITES A DOG
Yesterday, an innocent dog was bitten in front of a large crowd at the Pettah bus stand, by a man, who was later identified as a supporter of the opposition leader, Mr. Ranil Wickremasinghe. Daily News learns that the dog received only minor injuries but following the immediate intervention of the President HE Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunge, he was admitted to the intensive care unit of the Colombo General Hospital Canine ward. In a statement, President also condemned the attack and questioned how long the Opposition leader intends to maintain silence on the inhumanity and cruelty of his supporters over innocent animals.? We should take this act very seriously. more...