Far Jokes / Recent Jokes
Clinton and Gore: They have what it takes to take what you`ve got!
"Carter is no longer the worst U. S. President"
"I am Clinton of Borg. Your incomes will be assimilated."
Thank you, Bill Clinton, for costing me my job. I will repay you in 1996.
Hey Hillary! Shut-up and redecorate!
My other car was cancelled by the Clinton Tax Bill.
It`s the spending stupid!
If Clinton was the answer, it must have been a real stupid question!
Clinton in 1996--NOT!!
I`m not Fonda Clinton
Rodhamhood: She steals from everyone to give to the government.
Bill Clinton is living proof why stupid people shouldn`t vote.
Voter: "The joke`s over, bring back Bush."
Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Draft will begin production in Canada this year.
When Clinton was asked what he more...
Far too many people spend their lives reading the menu instead of enjoying the banquet.
A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them' How do you like it so far?'
The mouse replied' It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?' God said' Sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates.
The next day God saw the cat and asked him' How do you like it up here so far?' and the cat replied' Great, I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Prof. Irwin CoreyLove matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. - Countess of BlessingtonI've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. - Cass DaleyI'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year. - Bette DavisLove is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. - Lord DewarI've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about' short' and' cheap'? - Phyllis DillerNever go to bed angry. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis DillerIt destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being. - Benjamin DisraeliHonolulu, it's got everything. Sand for more...
Terry and Debbie were camping with their parents deep in the woods. How far is it to town? Terry wanted to know. Six miles, said Debbie. Thats too far to walk, Terry replied. Its not too bad, Debbie said. We can each walk three miles!
There's a guy who owns a parrot which never talks. So he goes to the pet shop to get some advice. The pet shop owner says he knows exactly what the problem is. "Your parrot has too much hook in it's beak, what you have to do is file its beak back and it will be able to talk just fine. You've got to be careful not to file it too far though, because if you take too much off the bird will drown the first time it has a drink." The parrot owner asks how much the pet shop guy charges to do this beak modification and he says $100. So the parrot fancier decides he'll do it himself. A week or so later they bump into one another in the street. The pet shop guy enquires how the parrot is and whether it is talking yet? The parrot owner says, "The parrot is dead." Pet shop guy says, "I told you not to file the beak back too far, did he drown when he had a drink?" Ex-parrot owner says, "Heck no, he was dead before I got him out of the vice."