Fear Jokes / Recent Jokes
My greatest fear in life is that no-one will remember me after I'm dead. - some dead guy
A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
The Groom-to-be, hoping to overcome his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. " Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage."
His father replied, "Do you love this girl?"
" Oh yes, very much," he said," But you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my fiance will be put off by them."
" No problem," said dad, " All you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.
The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to discuss her problem with her mom." Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful."
" Honey," her mother consoled, " more...
A woman in her 40s got married but was a bit nervous about her honeymoon.
The people in the church wanted to encourage her by sending a telegram with a verse of Scripture: 1 John 4: 18 ("There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear")
But someone omitted, by mistake, the 1 before John and the telegram just read: John 4: 18. ("The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.)"
The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.
It seems that in England, they had a men’s club, Bachelors’ Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage.
The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack.
A man was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall. In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a gnarly old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff. Full of fear, he assessed his situation.
He was about 100 feet down a shear cliff and about 900 feet from the floor of the canyon below. If he should slip again he'd plummet to his death. Full of fear, he cries out, "Help me!" But there was no answer. Again and again he cried out but to no avail.
Finally he yelled, "Is anybody up there?"
A deep yet serene voice replied, "Yes, I'm up here."
"Who is it?"
"It's God."
"Can you help me?"
"Yes, I can help."
"Please help me then!"
"Let yourself go."
Looking around the man became full of panic. "What?!?!"
"Let yourself go. I will catch you."
"Uh... more...
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
Q: What do you call the fear of getting stuck in a chimney?
A: Santaclaustrophobia!