Fer Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, two rednecks named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of Buds. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead Earl, it's a po-leece roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!" "Don't worry Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?" asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', okay?" said Earl. They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "Have you boys been drinking?" "No sir," said Earl, "we're on the patch."

A Kansas farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is yer Dad home?" the farmer asked.

"No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He went into town."

"Well," said the farmer, "Is yer Mother here?"

"No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It"s about your more...

Wondering If Windows 95 Will Live Long and Phosphor
"Sulu, set path to the floppy drive. Scotty, fit the hard drive with the Microsoft Windows 95 engine. Chekov, prepare the install disks, we're about to begin a sequel."
"Capitan, Windows 95 doesn't do SQL."
"Right. Then let's see how she performs at task speed. Scotty?"
"Captain, are you surre you want to replace the system? If ye put Windows code into a true 32-bit multitasking environment, we'll risk a matter-antimatter explosion!"
"Scotty, that's an order. "
"Aye, Captain, but she's just not rready. She needs a proper beta shakedown."
"That's what we're doing, Scotty. Chekov, how are those install disks coming?"
"We're on disk 5, sir."
"Good. Spock?"
"Fascinating, Captain. It appears as if Windows 95 is scanning our hardware and mutating to adapt."
"Then, Spock, can you more...

1 wo farmers were discussing their sons' progress in the big city university. Ezra said, "I don't rightly understand them degrees the boys are workin' fer. Do you, Cy?"
"Reckon so," replied Cy, modestly. "First one they get is called a B. S. And you know what that means."
Being a man of the world, Ezra knew.
Cy went on: "Well, sir, they work a little harder and they get this here M. S. That means More of the Same."
Ezra nodded.
"Then comes the hard part. They study night and day, put in years of readin', write all kinds of papers and then, if they're lucky, they get the highest one of' em all. The Ph. D."
"And what does that stand fer?" asked Ezra.
"Piled Higher and Deeper."

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.

The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"

"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."

"What fer?", asked Bubba.

"Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.

Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.

When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"

"No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, its a police roadblock!! Were gonna get busted fer drinkin these here beers!!""Dont worry, Bubba," Earl said. "Well just pull over and finish drinkin these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat.""What fer?", asked Bubba."Just let me do the talkin, OK?," said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin?""No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "Were on the patch."

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.

The passenger, Bubba, said "lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a poll-ice roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"

Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat".

"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?", said Earl.

Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"

"No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch"!