Fido Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Fido!
Fido who?
Fido known you were coming I'd have left the door open!

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the first semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents had given him for school.Then he gets an idea. He calls his Redneck father. "Dad," he says," you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!""That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?""Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."So, his father sends the dog and the $1000.About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again."So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks."Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Fido!
Fido who?
Fido I have to wait here?

Police officers George and Mary, had been assigned to walk the beat. They had only been out a short while when Mary said, "Damn, I was running late this morning after my workout and after I showered, I forgot to put on my panties! We have to go back to the station to get them." George replied, "We don't have to go back, just give the K-9 unit, Fido, one sniff, and he will go fetch them for you."
It was a hot day and Mary didn't fell like heading back to the station, so she lifted her skirt for the dog. Fido's nose shoots between her legs, sniffing and snorting. After 10 seconds of sniffing, Fido's ears pick up, he sniffs the wind, and he is off in a flash towards the station house. Five minutes go by and no sign of Fido. Ten minutes pass, and the dog is nowhere to be seen. Fifteen minutes pass, and they are starting to worry.
Twenty minutes pass, and they hear sirens in the distance. The sirens get louder and louder. Suddenly, followed by a dozen police more...

A young man goes off to college, but about a third the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him. "Hmmmm," he wonders, "How am I gonna get more dough?" Then he gets an idea.

He calls his father. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About two thirds the way through the semester, the money runs out. So the boy calls his father again. "So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says. "But you just won't believe more...