Fight Jokes / Recent Jokes

Howsabout the guy who convinced women to fight one bird with another. He'd tell em, "The best way to keep the stork at bay is with a swallow."

Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curios. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did, and the following morning Johnny described everything to his mother.
Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started to kiss and hug her, I figured sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like the doctor would. Except he's not as good as the doctor, because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.
He was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. more...

At a concert hall one night, the stage manager comes across an oboe player and a viola player having a fight.He breaks the fight up and asks what the fight was about.The oboe player says, "He broke my reed! I was just about to play my big solo when he broke my reed!""Well?" says the stage manager to the viola player. "What do you say to that?"In umbrage, the viola player replies, "He undid two of my strings but he won't tell me which ones!"

It`s easier to fight for ones` principles than to live up to them.

Santa walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of the strongest thing you`ve got."
He takes the shot glass and knocks it back. He then asks for another one and knocks that on back, too. After about five or six of these the bartender decides that he`s going to cut the guy off.
Bartender says to Santa, "Hey, what`s wrong with you? Did you have a fight with your wife or something?"
Santa sighs and says, "Yeah, after the fight she said that she wasn`t going to speak to me for a whole month!"
The bartender, puzzled, says, "Well, what`s wrong with that?"
Santa replied, "Well today`s the last day!"

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. Theyd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever sides dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. The used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. "When the day came for th e fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. more...

One night, Ajit was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Ajit and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Ajit put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground.
The thief then went through Ajit's pockets and searched him. All the thief could find on Ajit was 2 rupees.
The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Ajit why he had bothered to fight so hard for 2 rupees.
"Was that all you wanted?" Ajit replied, "I thought you were after the thousand rupee notes I've got in my shoe!"