Filipino Jokes / Recent Jokes
Tondo, Manila
May 16, 1957 Dearest Pal. Hello! How's life going on there. I hope that you are in good health upon receiving my letter or may be you got suspened "coz" you did not expect that you can receive a letter from me. But before the world prolong into a line may I ask first you a gretest apology if ever I disturb you rest and relaxation expecially that when you are in concentration of you studying. And at the same time Pal, I greet you pleasant hello. I hope you can enjoing your life there. Pal, maybe you ask to yourself there if were came I know your name. By the pal, I found your name from column of song hit. And then I decide to make this letter for the reason that I want also a friend in other places so don't think any malice here my lettter okey!. But before I go to further may I introduce first my simple personality to you. Well....... beginning for the love of my parent they got a boy and have a name. My name is Joseph Marcelo Ejercito a fourth year high more...
In the Philippines, most kids in private schools are forced to speak English at all times. A kid who just came from the province and who barely speaks the language tried his best to do so. One day, the kid needed to go to the bathroom so bad but he didn't know what to tell his teacher. He raised his hand and said, "guro, pwede po bang pumunta nang banyo?" (meaning, teacher may I go to the bathroom?') Since the boy didn't speak English, the teacher pretended that she didn't hear him. The boy said to himself, "what should I say (in Filipino, of course)". Then suddenly, the boy raised his hand and said, "FATHER, MOTHER, I", and quickly rushed out the door and to the bathroom. The teacher wondered what the boy meant. 15 minutes later, the boy came back. The teacher asked him where he went. He said that he went to the bathroom and he needed to go really bad. Then she asked what he meant when he said' FATHER, MOTHER, I'. The boy then explained, "FATHER in more...
ENGLISH FILIPINO TRANSLATION Asset - Ari Fixed Asset - Aring Nakatirik Liquid Asset - Aring Tumutulo Written-off Asset - Aring Pinutol Cut-off time - Oras ng Pagputol Depreciation - Pagkalaspag ng Ari Fully Depreciated Asset - Aring Laspag na Laspag na Earning Asset - Aring Ganado Pa Non-Earning Asset - Aring Baldado na Owned Asset - Sariling Ari Other Asset - Ari ng Iba Miscellaneous Asset - Mga Aring Pinagsamasama Erroneous Entry - Mali ang Pagkapasok Double Entry - Dalawa ang Pinasukan Multiple Entry - Labas-pasok Correcting Entry - Itinama ang Pagpasok Reversing Entry - Baligtad ang Pasok Tangible Asset - Aring Nasasalat Dispensed - Nilabasan Undispensed - Hindi Nilabasan
: When greeting a Filipino driver, slowly lower your window and be prepared to greet the driver with: "Tang namo, bobo". However, if you have been already addressed by a fellow driver, reply with a joyful "Tang namo rin, gago". On Turn signals If a driver in another lane turns on the turn signal, do not let him go into your lane. In fact, press the accelerator and start driving right next to him/her. The fellow driver will probably greet you and you already know what to do. On Traffic Lights These amusing artifacts hang from intersections for no apparent reason. Sometimes you will see drivers stop to see the colors change on these lights (a fascinating experience). Government officials (specifically police) believe that each color stands for an instruction for drivers to follow. From pure observation I have determined the following instructions for each color: Yellow light: accelerate your car as much as possible. Red light: this light gives permission to the next more...
A Filipino guy from Bicol tries very hard to come to Canada. In doing so he spent all his money and sold all his valuables so after he gets out of the Canadian airport he takes the bus to go stay at his relatives' house He thinks to himself, "Galit na galit ako parang gusto kong pumatay." So he takes a out his knife and flashes it at some white guy standing there on the bus, The white guy then says, " Yo! BE COOL man be cool!" Then the Filipino guy says, "Oh Pasalamat ka, taga Bicol ka kundi pinatay na kita!!"
Got a minute? There were three Filipino friends who were invited to a Mood Party. In order to be allowed access into the party, each person had to make an appearance as a mood or feeling. The first guy went to the supermarket and bought a pear. The second, bought a dress and the last bought a custard pie. Confused with each other, they decided to go to the party and let the host clear things up between them. The host of the party opens the door and asks the first Filipino guy, "What's the pear for?" The Filipino guy sticks out his thumb and plops the pear right over his thumb. Baffled, the host asks what this all means. The Filipino guy answers, "I'm in' dis pear (despair)!" The host smiles and let's him in. The second one busts out his dress. When asked to explain, he takes off all of his clothes, throws them to the corner and wears the dress. He then explains, "I'm in' dis dress (distress)!" The host then smiles again and let's him in as well. By this more...
In one of Oprah Winfrey's talk shows, a survey was conducted among her audience. Since the subject was about ghosts she started asking her audience these survey questions: Oprah: How many of you have seen a ghost? Please stand up! Amazingly, about 20 people stood up. Oprah: Wow, isn't that really phenomenal? And now for the next question- For you guys standing up - how many of you have actually spoke to a ghost? About five stayed standing up. Oprah: (At this point, really getting tremendously excited!) Wow, imagine that? These people actually spoke to a ghost. And now for the last question, how many of you five guys have actually made love to a ghost? Four guys sat down except one, at the last row of seats. The crowd exploded. Oprah: May we call the gentleman to come to the stage please! At this the cameras focused on an aging old man and guess what, a Filipino guy. Oprah: Wow, that was unbelievable: Sir may we know who you are? Top Gun: My name is Topacio Mamaril - Top Gun for short. more...