Film Jokes / Recent Jokes
Women:
Car Parking:
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman, was one of 19.36m equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. Caroline Wizz (GB) driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11:15am in Ropergate, Pontefract and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement, 8 hours 14mins later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and the two adjoining cars, as well as shop frontage and two lampposts.
Incorrect Driving:
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on, was one of 313 miles from Stranraer to Hollyhead, by Dr. Julie Thorn, at the wheel of a Saab 900 on 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird, but pressed on to Hollyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.
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I just saw the film Paranormal Activity. Man, it was scarier than the ticket prices!
In the film, a young couple are haunted by what they believe to be a demon. But here's the twist- it's a creditor.
At one point, the male lead gets macho about how he's not letting a demon mess with his girl. Really? What'cha gonna do? Jump him outside a bar with 5 of your buddies?
I'm amazed more people haven't spotted these film flubs:
* Part of the movie is in black and white, then inadvertently goes to color, and then back to black and white! An obvious continuity gaffe.
* Although the movie purports to be in Kansas, several scenes are obviously filmed on a Hollywood sound stage.
* The scene where the teacher rides past Dorothy's bedroom window in the midst of a tornado is physically impossible.
* When the characters sing you can hear music accompanying them but there are no radios or musicians in the area!
* For a land to exist "over the rainbow" it would have to be lighter than air, and as Dorothy was already shown to be composed of solid matter, how come she didn't fall back down to earth?
* Some of the so-called "munchkins" are obviously children wearing fake facial hair and grown up clothes.
* The "yellow brick road" is not really yellow as much as more...
This past weekend, the movie "300" grossed lots of money and has gone on to be the first movie in history where everyone in the entire film has abs. Even the monster had abs. Several historians have gone on record saying that not all Spartans had abs back in the day. In fact, there once was a fat Spartan named Spiros, who refused to ever do a sit-up, and had to have a special "Gut-plate" made of bronze to protect his stomach in battle. He killed many Greeks, and a few Trojans, but, alas, choked on an olive pit one night at a feast, and his fat ass was sent out to sea on a burning raft like a viking funeral without the viking. Hollywood is now developing a film about Spiros, based on the graphic novel "Two Eggs Over, Whole Wheat Toast".
In it, Spiros time travels from ancient Sparta to modern day Newark, and opens Olympia Diner. All is going great until a couple of naked Greeks show up and start trouble. It eventually gets resolved after a heavy more...
Two goats wandered into the junkyard and had a field day. One of them spent a particularly long time bent over a spool of film. When he was finished, the other goat came over. "So, did you enjoy the film?"
The goat replied, "To tell you the truth, I liked the book better."