Fire Jokes / Recent Jokes

A fireman looked out of the fire house window and noticed a little boy playing on the sidewalk. He had his little red wagon, and he had hung small ladders on the side of it, and coiled the garden hose up in it, and he was wearing a fireman's hat. He had the wagon tied to his dog, so that the dog could pull the wagon.The fireman thought this was really cute so he went out and told the little boy what a great looking fire truck he had.As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the wagon by his testicles. The fireman said, "Son, I don't want to try to tell you how to run your fire company or anything, but I think if you would tie that rope around the dog's neck you would go faster.""Maybe so," said the little boy, "But then I'd lose my siren!"

Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees abuilding on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding herpet cat in her arms."Hey, lady," yells Larry, "Throw me the cat.""No," she cries, "It's too far.""I play football, I can catch him."The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves toLarry, kisses her cat goodbye, and tosses it down to the street.Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him.The feline bounces off an awning and Larry runs into the street to catchit. He jumps six feet into the air and makes a spectacular one handedcatch. The crowd that has gathered to watch the fire breaks intocheers.Larry does a little dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles hisknees back and forth, then spikes the cat into the pavement.

There was a little boy and a little girl that would go every day behind
a bush after school, strip thier clothes and debate which one was better.
One day the little girl went home and asked her mom what the difference
between a boy and a girl was. The mother having a very sick mind
told her daughter that she had a garage and boy's have a fire truck.
she then said that you don't want boy's to put their fire truck
into your garage.
Well that very same day the boy aked his father
the same question. The father having a sick mind told his son that
he had a fire truck and girls have a garage. he told his son that
he should try to put his fire truck into thier garage as many times
as he could.
The next day after school they debated again. The girl went home and she went
inside. When her maother saw her she had blood all over her hands. Her mother
screamed and asked her what had happened and the little girl said that the more...

I Don't Think He'll Win Any Popularity Contests...
... On Monday morning it was determined to arrest "the Greaser," Joe Pizzanthia, and to see precisely how his record stood in the Territory... A party started for his cabin, which was built on a side-hill. The interior looked darker than usual from the bright glare of the surrounding snow. The smmons to come forth being disregarded, Smith Ball and George Copley entered, contrary to the advice of their comrades, and instantly recieved the fire of their concealed foe. Copley was shot through the breast. Smith Ball recieved a bullet in the hip. They both staggered out, each ejaculating, "I'm shot." Copley was led off by two friends, and died of his wound. Smith Ball recovered himself, and was able to empty his six shooter into the body of the assassin, when the latter was dragged forth.
The popular excitement rose nearly to madness. Copley was a much-esteemed citizen, and Smith Ball had many friends. It was more...

A Bishop invited his three sons home for a midwinter get-together.
On the cold first morning of their stay, he stood warming himself at a roaring log fire as the first son, a Parson, appeared from bed.
"Good morning father", said he.
"Good morning, son replied the Bishop,'Did you sleep well?".
"Wonderful sleep, I dreamt I was in heaven".
"Great!, Come and stand by the fire" said the Bishop.
"Good morning, son, did you sleep well?."
He asked his second son, also a Parson.
"Marvelous, I dreamt I was an angel!". And he went to stand in front of the fire. The third, a commercial traveller appeared.
"Good morning" said the Bishop, not so eagerly, "How was your night?.
"I dreamt I was in Hell" said he, And it was just like home- you couldn't get near the fire for Parsons".

DARWIN AWARD RUNNERS-UP: #1 - LOS ANGELES, CA. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother decided to remove a bees' nest from a shed on their property with the aid of a pineapple.
A pineapple is an illegal firecracker which is the explosive equivalent of one-half stick of dynamite. They ignited the fuse and retreated to watch from inside their home, behind a window some 10 feet away from the hive/shed. The concussion of the explosion shattered the window inwards, seriously lacerating Ani. Deciding Mr. Saduki needed stitches, the brothers headed out to go to a nearby hospital.
While walking towards their car, Ani was stung three times by the surviving bees. Unbeknownst to either brother, Ani was allergic to bee venom, and died of suffocation en-route to the hospital. #2 - Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Kenneth E. Richards. According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian roulette and put a more...

DARWIN AWARD RUNNERS-UP: #1 - LOS ANGELES, CA. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother decided to remove a bees' nest from a shed on their property with the aid of a pineapple.A pineapple is an illegal firecracker which is the explosive equivalent of one-half stick of dynamite. They ignited the fuse and retreated to watch from inside their home, behind a window some 10 feet away from the hive/shed. The concussion of the explosion shattered the window inwards, seriously lacerating Ani. Deciding Mr. Saduki needed stitches, the brothers headed out to go to a nearby hospital.While walking towards their car, Ani was stung three times by the surviving bees. Unbeknownst to either brother, Ani was allergic to bee venom, and died of suffocation en-route to the hospital. #2 - Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Kenneth E. Richards. According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian roulette and put a more...