Fish Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Groaner
The abbey in England that was a bit down at the heels and decided to open a roadside stand to pull in some tourist money.
The abbot decided that something typically English was called for, so he sent Brother Sebastian and Brother Thomas down to the road to open a Fish and Chips stand.
A wit came by and asked Brother Sebastian, "Are you the fish friar?"
"No, friend," answered Brother Sebastian, "I'm the chip monk."
Slightly Vulgar
While on a special outing to take care of the abbey's business, Brother Sebastian found himself one day in his car, down in the ditch, and there was no help for the motor that had given up the ghost, it seemed.
Along came another motorist who stopped and asked, "I say, what seems to be the matter?"
"Oh, piston broke," said the friar.
"So am I, but w'at's the matter with the cah?"

Why are fish so smart? They are always in schools!

There was a lake near town and there was a fly hovering 6 inches above the water.
In the water there was a fish and the fish said" If the fly would drop 6 inches I could get it".
On the shore there was a bear and the bear said " If the fly would drop 6 inches the fish would go for the fly and I would go for the fish".
Behind the bear was a hunter and the hunter said" If the fly would drop 6 inches the fish would go for the fly the bear would would go for the fish and I would shoot the bear".
Behind the hunter there was a mouse and the mouse said" If the fly would drop 6 inches the fish would go for the fly the bear would go for the fish the hunter would shoot the bear and I would get the cheese sandwich".
Behind the mouse was a cat the cat said" If the fly would drop 6 inches the fish would go for the fly the bear would go for the fish the hunter would shoot the bear the mouse would go for the cheese sandwich and I would more...

Which fish go to heaven when they die? Angelfish!

You don't have to hide your fishing magazines.
It's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to fish with
you once in
a while.
Your fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you
fished with long
ago.
It's perfectly respectable to fish with a total stranger.
When you see a really good fisher person, you don't have to
feel guilty
about imagining the two of you fishing in boat
together.
If your regular fishing partner isn't available, he/she
won't object if
you fish with someone else.
Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you fish
by yourself.
You can have a fishing calendar on your wall at the office,
tell fishing
jokes, and invite co-workers to fish with you
without getting sued for
harassment.
There are no fishing-transmitted diseases.
If you want to watch fishing on television, you don't have
to subscribe
to the Playboy channel.
Nobody expects you to fish with more...

What bit of fish doesn't make sense? The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!

Zailsingh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, Rajiv came home.
Rajiv: Zailsinghji How is your MBA preparation?
Zail Singh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Rajiv: Logic is very easy.
Zailsingh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.
Rajiv: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be water in it.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: so, logically, your are married.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: So, that means U are a heterosexual.
Zailsingh was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees Butasingh and he was also preparing for MBA.
Zail: How is your MBA more...