Fish Jokes / Recent Jokes
There are four wheels and eight men on a fire engine.
Four and eight makes 12.
There are 12 inches in a ruler.
Queen Elizabeth is a ruler.
The Queen Elizabeth was a ship.
Ships sail in the sea.
The sea has fish.
Fish have fins.
The Finns are always fighting the Russians.
Russians are known as "red".
Fire engines are always rushin', and that's why they're red.
a man walks into a hardware stores looking for wood to build his house he then sees jesus and says "be not afraid i come to your aid" and gives him a referell of wood he buys the wood and asks how he knows this, jesus replies "just trust me"he does and leaves. the next day he returns for nails and jesus shows up again and reffers him he buys the nails and asks how he knows this jesus replies "just trust me " he does and leaves. the man starts to build his house and relizes he has no money for food so he thinks jesus can solve his problem he goes to see him and gives him a referell of fish and bread but before he leaves he asks jesus will this keep him fed and jesus replies "for fucks sake you come in here spouting your problems you want to know how i know about the wood the nails and the fish i was put on the cross nailed to it and had nothin to eat for 2000 years so i got problems"
A team of archaeologists were excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance.
1. A dog
2. A donkey
3. A shovel
4. A fish
5. A Star of David
They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at Least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from all over the world came to study the ancient symbols.
They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what they could agree was the meaning of the markings.
The President of their Society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said, "This looks like a dog. We can judge that this was a highly intelligent race as they knew how to have animals for companionship.
To prove this statement you can see that the next symbol resembles a donkey, so, they were even smart enough to have animals help them till the more...
Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune. The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?" The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
A team of blondes and a team of brunettes were in an ice fishing competition to see which team could catch the most fish.
It wasn't long before it was obvious that the brunettes were going to win. They kept pulling out fish after fish. Worried, the blondes sent one of their team members over to see what the brunettes were doing differently.
A few minutes later, the blonde came rushing back and exclaimed, "A hole! We need to put a hole in the ice!"
What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend? ' Your plaice or mine'!